How do I know if He is the One?
In the early days of a relationship it can be tough to get a handle on whether or not you have found The One, and the problem is: You’re doing it all wrong!
In this time of life hacks and entrepreneurial hype we are all looking for the How-To answers that will allow us to use our intellectual abilities to solve problems, and apply them to the practicalities of life. Now, more than ever, we are treating relationships like a problem to be solved, and we are looking for clear guidelines. Which leads me to the eternal question: How do I know if He is the One?
I want to fly in the face of convention and tell you - don’t follow your head, nor your heart. Follow your nose!
Your Nose Always Knows
Research has shown that the smell we are most attracted to is that of someone who has a genetically different immune system to our own. Women have a much better ability to scent an appropriate mate, especially around the time of ovulation. Strangely, the contraceptive pill seems to flip this ability on its head and create an attraction to someone with a similar immunity profile.
Fascinating research from love guru Helen Fisher, in her book Why Him Why Her, illustrates that the foundations of a long term successful relationship lie in our biology, and more specifically, in the chemistry of our brains. Different levels of testosterone, serotonin, testosterone and estrogen in the brain create a specific set of feelings, thoughts and behaviours in an individual that allow us to predict whether a couple will be attracted to each other, and whether they will find a love that lasts.
We can even smell someone online (well, almost!) Interestingly, the words that a potential mate selects to describe themselves are clear indicators of their chemical profile, and in this way we are unconsciously attracted to a profile that indicates a biological match.
A Kiss Never Lies.
Smell & taste are a particularly accurate way to assess someone’s health, an unusually sweet, sour, or offensive body odour can indicate anything from a hangover, to a viral infection, or simply a partner that is not a match for you. You should LOVE the smell of your lover!
What that means is that you must kiss your date. A lot! Kissing allows you to taste and smell your new man so that you can assess his viability as a partner. You’re welcome.
You can smell attraction
The cool thing about this is, on your first three dates you have only one question that truly needs answering: Do I like the way they smell? If you are dating and looking for long term love here is a tip - stay away from spicy foods, garlic or onions, strong perfumes or colognes, use an unscented deodorant. That way your body will have a much better chance of finding the right chemistry & compatibility!
The Sugar Doctor