Wellbeing at work
By John Lechner
Stop marking time or saving for a rainy day. Live your life!
Recently I heard a story about a couple with conflicting priorities. One wanted to put every spare dollar on the mortgage. The other wanted to live, to travel and to explore.
Most of us work crazy hours, sometimes even on a 24/7 roster. That is cool if you are chasing a dream or saving for a holiday, a new experience or a life goal.
But I don't think it's cool if you take every spare dollar and put it on your mortgage, so that one day, you wont have a mortgage and one day you can travel. Excuse the language but that is a dumb plan.
Yes you need to have a bit put away. But you can't stop living today because you are worried about tomorrow.
I think Gary Vee said it best "You're gonna die".
So take that risk, follow your dream, plan a holiday, but take action TODAY! Not tomorrow, not next week TODAY!.
Because life is short, we don't know how long we have left. My dad died when he was 54, he had a great job, financial security and was busy planning his retirement. Instead of that he lived 4 months past his 54th birthday.
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
We all have thing we want to do, a bucket list, a passion to take up or even a new career to pursue. Don't wait for someone else's permission. Don't let someone else's self limiting beliefs hold you back.
Just Do It! Don't be scared. Don't wait for PERFECT!
I will leave you with this quote:
"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."
Live your life!
Travel | Inspiration | Live Life
By John Lechner
Yes, you read that right 60% of people believe their job is negatively affecting their life!
Each week I read a lot of stories, blogs and posts about the state of Wellbeing and Happiness in the workplace. In fact, I go out of my way to find this content for you from around the world.
So in a sense I do get a bit immune to some of this but every now and then I see a statistic that bowls me over. It makes me stop and this WTF!
This number - "60% of employees notice that their job is taking a toll on their personal life". I don't know about you but this number makes me think HOLY SHIT what are we doing to ourselves.
So, before I go on, where does this number come from?
The Global & Real-time State Of Employee Engagement by Office Vibe. This is a real time, weekly survey and snapshot of employee engagement from across the globe, in fact currently 157 countries.
So while this may not be a comprehensive study, it is a live pulse check on the state of employment around the globe and it isn't pretty.
How about some other statistics
Only 27% of employees are happy at work! Thats just 1 in 4 people like their job and workplace.
57% of employees wouldn’t recommend their organization as a good place to work.
The numbers become numbing, but what stands out when you read the details behind the stats is that Corporate Culture in most businesses isn't good. In some places it is just plain awful.
One of the big things we see is where companies and management talk the talk but do not know how to walk the walk. For example, businesses spend thousands on consultants, even go to the trouble of creating posters, info packs and more on the culture.
But then in reality it is just talk, they go straight back to old, poor practices and in reality nothing changes. Or worse still the expectation and promise of change is so far from reality that it dramatically alienates more staff.
Business needs to focus on real and positive culture change. Even an organisation with a brilliant mission can have a bad culture, especially if management are not strong at weeding out negative influences in their team.
So what can you do to start affecting positive change in your team?
"As a manager, you should ask yourself what you can do to make someone happier. Even if it’s something outside of work, understand that their happiness outside of work will affect their happiness at work, so it’s worth it."
Your team spend at least 1/3 of their day at their desks in your workplace.
- Do you have live plants in the office?
- Art on the walls?
- Natural light?
Create a space where your team can be at their best, more collaborative, more creative and more productive.
Your team are people, talk to them, find out more about them, their passions and hobbies. Help them be there for their friends and family when it matters.
If you and your team need help creating a productive, creative and profitable workspace then we would love to help.
We are the office art specialists in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, Central Coast and the Newcastle Hunter region.
The Office Art Specialist
By Coach Barb
Engagement and Happiness are key in the modern workplace
Keeping employees engaged has become a necessity in the workplace. A company has to recognise the importance of understanding the employees. In every organisation big or small the employees should be treated with ultimate respect, and in return, they will treat the customers with respect.
My background was in the staffing industry. I dealt with coworkers, supervisors, clients, prospects, and employees. The more engaged the employee, the better their outcomes. I noticed the happiest employee was the one engaged.
Are you asking yourself, how can I get my employees more engaged? Below I will share with you what worked for me in the past and what works for me now.
Your team needs to be trusted. Start small, give your employee tasks with a due date. After giving the instructions, walk away and trust. Don’t micromanage, just wait until it’s completed then evaluate if the employee needs to improve in a particular area. By trusting, you will free your time to do other tasks yourself. Start small.
Positive work environment
Create a fun and exciting place to work. Nowadays everyone wants to feel as if they belong. To create a positive work environment, address issues as they arise. If you know that a certain employee is creating problems, don’t ignore it, because you might lose the good and productive employee. A happy work environment keeps your business moving in the right direction. A positive employee will exude a positive attitude with your clients. A win/win situation.
Meetings are necessary, but if they are prolonged, they are ineffective. Keep them short, have an agenda ready and follow the plan. An organised meeting will help you address important issues and move on.
Having an open relationship with your staff and customers is important. For example, if an employee comes with an issue, listen to him/her and communicate with an open mind. The best way to have a productive conversation is to ask open-ended questions. Keep the employee engaged and listen with the intention to understand, not to respond.
In summary, it doesn’t matter how many employees your organization has; it is important to keep them engaged. Remember, an engaged employee is a happy employee.
How do you keep your employees engaged?
Developing Your Food Philosophy
For someone who could spend all day looking through recipe books and sifting through all the ingredients, the last thing I really want to be doing is spending all my time in the kitchen.
Food, for me, is about creating a beautiful meal, designed to nourish our bodies. It brings me happiness to know how to create highly nutritious meals to feed my self and my loved ones, but there is still so much more to life than cooking and cleaning up the dirty dishes.
I’m an adventurer, a do’er, a ball of bursting energy that desires to meet a multitude of amazing people, vibrant places for all sorts of purposes and pleasures. And for me to be able to operate on such a vibrant level and enhance my thirst for life, I equally need to feed myself that same energy.
Food is fuel for humans, and that is how I look at it. For every crumb that goes into my mouth, I am very aware of whether it will have a positive, neutral or negative impact on me, and knowing this means, I can make the best decisions for my body ahead of time.
Fitness - Mind and Body
It is that same approach with your career, for example, if you know you have a busy day coming up, you are going to ensure that you give yourself enough rest the night before and do what you can to be prepared for the up coming work schedule. For me, there is always a place for food to play an important part of that, in my opinion.
I used to be married to a professional soccer player and it astounded me how nutrition did not play a vital part in their performance, or career, for that matter.
One particular player would eat mud cake and red creaming soda for breakfast and it was no surprise that he suffered from a lot of injuries through out the soccer season and was never part of the starting line up.
Taking the time to really understand which foods bring about the most energy and nourishment for your body means that whatever job you are in, physical or not, your body can work with the nutrients that you feed it to replenish, recover and feed you optimally.
You know when you learn to ride a bike? And then the bike gets stored in the shed for many, many months or even years.
When you get ‘back on the bike’ you’re a bit wobbly from neglecting that skill, even though, thankfully our amazing bodies have stored that muscle memory. Learning to really understand what food does to your body is about re-learning that same skill and awareness.
Every mum out there can recall when they first introduced solids to their newborn. Remember that concentrated, focused look on your child’s face as they curiously experienced this new texture and taste in their mouths? That is the very type of awareness we need to bring back to start re-introducing that food-body awareness.
Taste and Smell not just Nutrition
The ultimate food experience is about immersing yourself in the whole food process. Admiring the colours, smells, atmosphere. Feeling the texture of different foods, savouring the flavours and really chew, chew, chewing your food so that your mouth resembles somewhat of a powerful Vitamix blender.
The more you chew, the less pressure you are putting on your digestive system to have to work harder to further breakdown the food and extract the nutrients. That energy can be spent outwardly, doing the things you love.
So it is all about really understanding how food affects you, your body, mind and soul so you can make it work for you and reap the benefits of the amazing energy it is capable of providing you with.
Food is a fantastic place to begin your journey of self-awareness and self-discovery. It is a tangible way of being able to see how we let the outside world in and how to make choices for ourselves so that we can perform at our very best.
If you can look as food as fuel for your body, a vital energy source required to help bring out the very best of you, then you are really going to gain some really beautiful insight into yourself and also be able to give your best to others.
Let me know what foods bring out the best energy in you and what helps you thrive!
The Happy Health Coach
Three powerful questions to eliminate unwanted eating habits
Food comes in many forms. If we’re just looking at whole foods, food from nature, then you’ll see it grows in a few different forms. Above the ground (fruit trees, leafy greens), on the ground (pumpkin, cauliflower) and below the ground (potatoes, garlic). Whilst having a vast variety of nutritional benefits, they also have a distinct energy about them that also is transferred to our bodies when we eat them.
Every single thing on our planet, and in the universe for that matter, is made up of atoms, also known as energy. Some types of energy are good, some not so good and some you can take or leave. Food works in much the same way.
The whole idea in understanding the energetics of food is that you are even better equipped to make more informed choices for your body. It’s all well and good to say sugar, alcohol and refined carbs should be avoided, but, because we all live so differently, and we are constantly growing, evolving and changing, we simply cannot make such black and white statements like this.
Certainly, the overconsumption of these foods are not encouraged in large and vast quantities, but the aim is to seek understanding of your body, what it needs, to learn how it responds to certain foods and develop confidence and knowledge to make decisions for yourself and your body that will assist in allowing it to function optimally.
The energy that foods contains is something of particular interest for me and allows me the power to make educated decisions about which foods will benefit me at certain times of the day and during those times of the month.
As I made reference to earlier, where food chooses to flourish and grow, says a lot about the energy is can provide for our bodies.
To give you a very basic idea, lets look at one of my very favourites, leafy green vegetables. They grow above the ground, their leaves and light in weight, they are fresh, cooling and hydrating. This all sounds quite uplifting, right? Well, when you’re feeling sluggish, low, depressed, and sad, instead of opting for a chocolate bar or a bag of chips, why not nourish your body with a food that is going to provide you with the energy you’d prefer to have (unless, you want to remain in that state). Just try this approach next time and see how it shifts the energy you were experiencing.
Foods that are grown below the ground, such as sweet potato, potato, garlic, these guys are going to provide you with relaxing, grounding and more chilled energy. So if you’re anxious and highly strung, perhaps a serving of roasted veggies will help to ground you and chill you out.
And so, the more you consider how a food interacts with your body, the better you are at making suitable choices that your body, mind and soul will benefit from.
That infamous 3pm slump we all face? Instead of the caffeine hit that then distorts our natural body clock, why not, instead, opt for a green veggie juice as a pick me up that will not only give you natural energy, but will provide your body with incredible nutrients to build beauty and sustain optimum health and wellness from the inside-out?
I’m a big believer in learning how to generate and create awareness of yourself. Food is a fantastic place to start generating that self/body awareness because it’s tangible and you can physically see and feel the benefits or concerns of certain foods and your body.
Food has the potential to help of heal your body, but, at the end of the day, it’s not foods fault if your diet is so poor that it has resulted in illness in your body. We are currently experiencing a lot of chronic inflammation in our bodies and our food choices play an enormous part on feeding that inflammation or reducing it. You truly are what you eat.
When it comes to body awareness and realising how much choice we actually have, I’m going to share with you, three powerful questions that can help change those unwanted food habits
- What food are you putting into your mouth
- Why are you putting that food into your mouth
- How do you feel 1/2hr-2hrs after eating that food?
A food diary is a great way to monitor your food journey and develop awareness about what energy you’re feeding your body.
Also, another question, even before you answer the first three is, how do you want to feel right now?
If you want to feel relaxed and chilled then, steam or roast some root vegetables or make your own hot chippies, and I said ‘make your own’ for good reason-bake, not fry! But, if you need that pick me up, then I encourage pure green veggie juice with ginger and lemon for a stable and engaging lift.
We are all able to make choices that benefit us. Some choices may require more discipline and will power, but if your focus is on the result, the outcome, what you’re seeking to achieve and how you want to feel, then let food help you and work in your favour and it will help you get closer to that feeling you’re after.
The Happy Health Coach
Do you find it hard to change habits?
Does it seem impossible to stick to a healthy diet, an effective exercise routine, or a regular meditation practice to maintain balance?
Whatever your health goal is, so many people just can’t seem to stick to their desired healthy habits that they know are good for them.
The most common reasons reported for this are lack of time and motivation.
To address the ‘time’ thing, everyone has 24 hours in a day and 7 days in their week, whether you’re the Prime Minister of Australia, the owner of a multi-billion-dollar company, or a celebrity trying to balance family and filming….
So if you’re complaining you don’t have enough time, what you need to do is sit back and review your priorities, asking yourself “am I happy with what I’m fitting into my days right now?” Remember, you CHOSE to do all the things you're doing right now. So if you're not happy with how you're living your days, it’s time to make a change!
Once you’ve given yourself a reality check and clarified your priorities, let’s move on to the ‘motivation’ piece.
For you to create new habits, you need to stay motivated long enough to rewire your brain and create new default patterns. This will ensure you avoid falling back into old ways.
Research shows this rewiring can take anywhere from 30 days to 6 months, but most research states that forming new habits takes around 60 to 70 days. This means you need to be motivated every day for 2 to 3 months to stick to your plan, before it becomes your default!
Lucky for you, there is one simple thing – and I’m talking so simple, it’s ridiculous! – that you can put in place right away to keep you motivated for as long as you need, until your new routine becomes a default.
Ready to smash your health goals effortlessly?
What you need to do is get yourself what I call an ‘Accountability Buddy’: someone who you have recruited to hold you accountable and keep you honest to stick to your plan.
I do this as part of my workplace wellbeing programs and it is one of the key components that getslasting results for my participants. Those that get themselves an accountability buddy and meet with them at least weekly will always report that it helped them stay on track with their goals!
Its an incredibly simple concept (which is probably why it works so well!). But if you need the
Here’s how you do it:
- Decide on a person in your life who you can catch up with regularly (either by phone, online or face to face) that you know will be assertive enough to keep you honest and tell it like it is when you’re slacking off!
- Have an initial catch up with them asking if they will be your Accountability Buddy; letting them know that you need them to keep you accountable and discuss with them your goals and weekly plan you need to follow.
- Ask them about their goals and plan and how you can help them too.
- Agree on a time every week to catch up, setting up a recurring meeting in both your calendars. Aim to catch up at least once weekly to check in and ensure you’re both sticking to your plan. The catch up only needs to be 10 minutes.
- When you catch up, discuss how you’re both going and if you need any additional support from each other. If you’re not able to stick to your plans, help each other adjust to make it more achievable.
- It’s ideal to check in with each other throughout the week to give extra motivation and reminders to stick to your plans. If you work together, this can simply be going past your buddy’s desk each afternoon asking if they have stuck to their plan. Otherwise, send them a message if you’re not going to see them in person.
Remember to commit to maintaining this relationship for at least 70 days (just over 2 months) to create new habits and rewire your brain to form new mental patterns!
Once you’ve reached 70 days, have a catch up with your Buddy, review where you’re both at and if / how you’ll continue to give each other support.
Good luck and let me know how you go!
To creating effortless health,
Recipe for Health
What You Should Be Doing to Start Your Day the Healthy Way?
What the "Experts" say...
Tony Robbins goes straight for a 13 degree cold plunge and keeps himself submerged for a full minute. Read more on Business Insider
Entrepreneur.com provides a six-step, 24-minute morning routine, that gives you a minute-by-minute time frame on morning success habits.
And businnessinsider.com shares the routines of 12 highly influential people that set themselves up for success where some of the first things these guys do are:
- Check their inbox
- Catch up on news
- Putting the physical body on autopilot
- 5 minutes of quite reflection
- Hot water with lemon
- Checks international markets
- Pushes the dog off
- Drinks 700mls of water
- Consumes a wide variety of newspapers
- Gets outside right away
These are all great, interesting and insightful approaches to starting off the day in a successful way. And, in my quest for peace, serenity, health and wellness, I can honestly say I’ve tried just about all of them, except checking the international markets-that does not fluff my doona in any way, shape or form!
But, as I brave this internal journey of self-discovery and stay focused on my goals, I’m getting quite clear on who I am and what I want.
And it does not involve plunging into a 13-degree pool on the first day of winter, quite the contrary.
Every Thursday morning (today) involves me needing to be out the door in a suitable fashion, appropriately dressed and professionally approachable by 6:30am at the latest.
This is for my BNI meetings where I have the opportunity to talk business, learn business, network, refer and always gain some invaluable insights.
Admittedly, for this Happy Health Coach, these meetings are like a Saturday night for this low-key, health freak, so I have a great time there!
This morning I woke up cold, wishing I could stay wrapped up in my duck feather doona like a tightly wrapped burrito with extra hot salsa sauce (first day of winter literally blew the wind through me!), but knowing this was not an option.
So, instead of the usual rough self-talk I would’ve done in the past (‘Get up! You’re so lazy, Have a shower, do this, do that…) (SHUT-UP!), I opted for a far more gentler approach, and had quite the gentle conversation rolling around in my head as to what might get me positively out of my warm, beautiful and comfortable bed.
Lately, I’ve been listening to anything I can find on Esther and Jerry Hicks through You Tube. I’ve been exposed to another version of Law of Attraction, and I know I’m becoming more open to it, because it’s making more sense than ever before.
So, as I listened to the encouraging words of ‘match your frequency to that of the “vortex”’ I took a very brief walk down memory lane to visualise moments when I thought I was experiencing “vortex” living.
I thought it was when I was literally bouncing out of my skin with uncontrollable excitement and wondered why I couldn’t wake up with that almost manic enthusiasm?
Instantly, it occurred to me, when I was really in the “vortex”, really focused, really passionate, really thriving and really getting what I wanted, I was calm, determined, confident, focused, happy, joyful…present.
Not the manic enthusiast who can’t control herself and quite possibly annoyed those around her!
So, knowing this, and being aware of it, I just simply have to get myself back in that zone, that emotional level, that “vortex”.
Hmm…how does an over-enthusiastic, ‘all-or-nothing’, almost bi-polar (I’m sure) and undiagnosed ADHD (except by friends) calm her proverbial farm and get in the “vortex”?
For me (and, everyone is different here), it’s through meditating. And not listening to tapes, CD’s, iTunes, MP3’s, self talk, his talk, or her talk. It’s literally finding my own silence.
It’s setting my timer for 20 minutes, noticing head chatter, appreciating it and allowing it to move on out so I can get in touch with my current vibration.
You see, we all operate differently, some people like to hit the ground running and don’t stop till bed time-not a thing wrong with that at all.
Me, knowing how I function, I do need to take a softer approach. An approach that’s going to put me in the zone without feeling like I’m limited, stressed, over-worked and underpaid.
A feeling of calm, confidence-you know-all the stuff I mentioned I am when I am in the “vortex”.
For me, emotions have been my Everest. I’ve always allowed them to control me. So, if I was experiencing and feeling hurt for whatever reason, instead of letting that be a really clear indication that I’m not in alignment with what I want, I milked that emotion for all it was worth and put on an Oscar winning performance receiving five-star reviews.
But, as I learn more and more about how we’re programmed and why we have emotions and feelings, it now excites me (in a relatively calm fashion) that these wonderful emotions are nothing more that a personal indicator of alignment. Aren’t we magical creatures!!!!
Anyway-back to morning routines!!!!
What came of this morning were a few insights I wish to share that hopefully help, but since we’re living in a world of polarity, there’s always the case that it may just not.
To learn a new habit, one must be focused, conscious and know why they want to adapt to this new way of being.
Creating my own business, determined to have my own independence and raise two beautiful boys has quite possibly been the funniest, craziest, emotional experience I have ever endured and is quite the stretch when I’ve chosen to take on a new, unfamiliar way of life that I’m not accustomed to.
So it’s imperative that I learn the art of getting oneself into the “vortex”. Spending 20 silent minutes with myself, first thing in the morning is something I need to do if I want to move towards my goals.
Because, allowing my emotions to run on auto-pilot means I can quite easily allow myself to be taken off task, and opt for the more enjoyable, easy and satisfying fixes that take me off my path to my success, as that has been the habits and patterns I’ve created for myself.
What I’ve learnt by attempting to copy the wealthy, successful and entrepreneurial is that while their successful morning routines are fun to follow for about a week, it turns out, I actually don’t want what they want and I’m not who they are.
They have their morning routines because it gets them to where they want to be. They have their own visions, goals and motives.
And since we’re all so unique, the thought of checking my inbox or reading newspapers sounds like absolute arse to me and not something that I find to be worth while in growing my business.
So what I’m trying to say here is it’s essential to listen to yourself, find the beat of your own drum, check in with your emotions and figure out a morning routine that literally brings a smile to your face just by thinking about it.
Because, if it’s not making you feel good, then you’re out of alignment my friend.
So my morning ended up in me taking the time to run a hot bath with coconut oil, doTerra Balance essential oil and Epsom bath salts ready for a day of calm, confident and warm relaxation, because I knew I had a lot to get through and I needed to kindly get myself in the “vortex”.
And it was quite possibly way better than jumping into any cold jacuzzi with Tony Robbins himself.
Find your personal morning routine and share it with us in the comments below.
The Happy Health Coach
From head trash to positive thinking in 6 simple steps
"I hate my life, but there's nothing I can do about it.
"I'll never find a good workplace where everyone's nice to each other."
"I'm not ____ enough to do/be ____."
Do any of these sound like what goes on in your head?
These are examples of rules that we often consciously and subconsciously live by. We learned them over the years as a way to make sense of how the world works and how we can keep ourselves safe within it.
Believing that, for example, you're not good enough to be a doctor, was keeping you safe from all the stresses involved with med school.
The rules we have in our heads affect the kinds of actions we do, the kinds of habits we have, the thoughts we think, the amount of stress we deal with each day, and how healthy and happy we feel.
Unfortunately, many of the rules we developed as kids no longer serve us as adults and are hindering us from reaching our goals. I call these Bullshit Rules.
Check out the following "Cross Off and Replace" method to banish your BS rules so that you can reach your life and career goals faster.
Cross Off and Replace!
Whenever you're stressed out, take a moment to listen to the talk going on inside your head.
For example, say you're stressed out about a project at work. Some people on your team did not complete a task you needed done in time, which affected your ability to do your own work. Then your boss decided to blame it all on you - even threw a huge fit in front of everybody. It was humiliating. There were a ton of thoughts just rapid-firing in your head.
Write them down.
Take the time to write down as many of the statements you hear as possible. Don't stop to think about what you hear, just free-write as much of it as you can.
From the previous example, these statements may include:
- My boss is pissed.
- He's spitting.
- His vein is popping out.
- My boss is an asshole.
- My boss is always angry at me.
- I'm always the one to blame.
- I'm not good enough.
- I hate my life.
- Why does this always happen to me?
- I look so stupid.
- I'm turning red.
- Everything thinks I'm stupid.
- This is humiliating.
- I should stand up for myself.
- I never stand up for myself.
- I have no backbone.
- I'm weak.
- I'm not strong enough.
Cross off relative truth statements.
From your list, you're going to differentiate which of the statements are absolute black-and-white truths versus relative truths.
Absolute truths are those that are true in every sense of the word and from every perspective. For example, "He's spitting," "His vein is popping out," and "I'm turning red" are the only three absolute truths from the list above.
Everything else on that list is a relative truth and a BS Rule that you've been living by! Cross them off! Your boss may not always be an asshole, and he most certainly is not always angry at you, and you're most certainly not always the one to blame...otherwise you wouldn't still have your job, right?
Cross off statements you DO NOT WANT to be true.
This one is even more fun than the last one.
Go down the list again and cross off (or double cross off) the statements that you do not want to be true, now or ever.
Why? Even the ones we feel like are really true now?
Yep, cross them off! These are the BS rules that are SERIOUSLY holding you back from happiness and success. Scratch a huge line through them!
The majority of our daily thoughts are based off of what we believe to be true, whether we know it or not, and whether it's an absolute or relative truth. And the more we think a certain thought, the more it will become true. So if you don't want to be blamed, feel humiliated, or look stupid, you had better start crossing those out of your mind, out of your life.
But jeez, easier said than done, right?
It may not be. Read on.
CRUCIAL STEP: Replace.
Replace the crossed-off statements with statements that you want to be true.
- My boss is a kind person.
- My boss respects and values me.
- I respect and value myself.
- I am enough.
- I love my life.
- I am intelligent and professional.
- Everyone thinks of me as a professional.
- I am a strong and confident person.
You're rewiring your brain here in this step. What happens when you tell a little kid to "Stop running!" or "Don't put that in your mouth!" They'll run and put that thing in their mouth.
As adults, we have a little more self control, so we won't actually run or put the thing in our mouth, but we'll sure as hell think about it.
So if you are to just cross off the BS Rules on a sheet of paper, your brain's just going to think those thoughts even more.
But if you give it a replacement ("Walk!" or "Quick, give that to me!" or "I am enough!"), you can train your brain to think the replacement more instead.
JUST AS CRUCIAL: Use all 5 senses to solidify!
Doing this exercise once will not lead you to any magnificent transformations. You have held on to your BS Rules for likely many many years, if not since you were a wee child. It is not going to disappear overnight.
But there are things you can do to train your brain to think your replacement thoughts faster...Use all 5 of your senses:
- Auditory - Say your BS Rule out loud, declare (loudly) that you're crossing them off, and then say your replacement thought even louder. And/or repeat them a bunch of times. Start with 10 times every day when you wake up.
- Tactile - Cross off those statements with conviction! Cross them out 50 times each! Write the replacement statements with confidence, press firmly into the paper, and hear the scratch of your pen on the paper!
- Visual - Try drawing out your replacement statements and hang them up where you can see them each day.
- Taste - Drink your favourite tea when you do this exercise or crunch on some nuts as your cross off your statements. Celebrate you with some ice cream!
- Smell - Burn the paper with all BS Rules on them. :)
And here's one for your 6th sense - when you say each of your replacement statements, take a deep breath, and really feel like the statement is true.
Imagine your boss being very kind, respectful, courteous, and imagine yourself loving your life and loving your job.
If you did this every morning for 10 days, you will most definitely start feeling shifts in your energy!
Check out my video about this topic below:
Ready to try the "Cross Off and Replace" process with your BS rules but want a safe space and a guiding hand? Contact Jessica at email@example.com to learn more about private coaching.
Blog post originally posted on the Damon Wellness Blog:
By Coach Barb
Hacks to achieve work life balance
What does having work life balance mean to you? Many get consumed with their work and never pay attention to themselves or the family. Others go to work and act busy and not produce a thing. Regardless, if balance doesn't exist life won't be rewarding. Work is important, and life is important it's that simple.
I will always strive to balance my time. The family is important, and working is important. On Sundays, I choose to disconnect. I take long naps; I spend time with my spouse, I take my Mini Schnauzer for longer walks. Balancing work and personal time are not easy, but I make an effort to help me energize for the coming week. Try it; it will make you happy.
The tips that I share with you help me stay focused. I recommend that you incorporate them into your life to enjoy your work and your personal time.
Know what is important, at work and home. Do what matters first and release what doesn't serve you. In short, prioritise. Do not be afraid to say no or to reschedule. Your time is valuable. Have you ever analysed what your priorities are?
2. Quality Time
What makes you happy? Find the time to enjoy quality time. It can be with friends, family or by yourself. Pick a day and schedule the time. Think of the last time you took some time for yourself. What did you do? Whatever it may be, repeat it and feel the freedom.
Do you have too much on your plate? Write out things to do list and pick the top three for you, and give the other tasks away. Always check and verify, but trust. By delegating it will free up your time. What would you do with extra time on your hands?
Pick one day to disconnect from technology. Go out and enjoy nature, go and have a nice lunch with friends or family. Take a nap (as you can tell I like napping).
Enjoy an entire day without your phone, iPad, computer and television. It might sound out of this world, but you will thank me later. Ok, if you can’t do an entire day, disconnect for a couple of hours. But do it. I am sure you are capable of enjoying time without technology. Right?
5. Practice Gratitude
Be thankful. Start your day noticing the little things that matter. Count your blessings. Practice gratitude and you will feel balanced. Even if your job is demanding, be thankful that you have a job. What are you thankful for today? Focus on it and feel happy.
In summary, live a balanced life, and you will have the energy to deal with your work. Stay focused and enjoy life. Your family will thank you; your boss will notice a difference and best of all, you will feel great. Have a fantastic day.
What is keeping you from enjoying life and work? Comment below
If you would like more help then why not check out my FREE workbook - 7 ways to reduce stress and feel calmer.
Mind Hack for Work Stress - Free Webinar 0 Comments
Hacking your mind to avoid work stress
Work stress is one of the most complex and most exhausting kinds of stress. It interferes with your ability to sleep, which then affects your ability to handle stress the next day!
Last week, I held a free 30 minute webinar, “Mind Hack for Work Stress,” in which I discuss one crucial mind-trap when it comes to stress called the “scarcity” mindset. This mindset is most likely causing you most if not ALL of your stress at work!
The scarcity mindset is one that we’ve all most likely picked up in our childhoods. If you’ve ever heard or said, “I (we) can’t afford that,” or “there aren’t enough jobs around,” or “You have to go to college to become a doctor/lawyer or you’ll never have enough money to take care of your family,” these are all examples of scarcity mindset.
Just reading these phrases stresses you out a little, right? Having a mindset of scarcity creates thoughts of “not-enough-ness” – there’s not enough money, food, time, energy, sunlight, work, jobs, love, etc.
And these thoughts create the stress that we experience when it comes to finding and applying for jobs, asking your boss for a raise, talking to your friends or family when they do something you don’t like, or saying no when your boss dumps another project on your desk when you’re already pulling 12 hour days.
Due to the law of attraction, which states that like attracts like, when you hold such scarcity thoughts in your mind all day long, you’re actually attracting more of the same thoughts, or situations that trigger these thoughts! Every time you think, “I need more money,” you’re attracting situations that trigger you to keep thinking, “I need more money”!
Abundance is defined by Merriam Webster as “plentifulness,” or in other words, “more-than-enough-ness.” Having a mindset that centers on abundance means that you’re also attracting more abundance into your life.
If “I need more money” becomes, “I have more than enough money,” your experience of life will shift and you’ll start experiencing situations that trigger you to think that you do indeed have more than enough money.
So how can you start shifting into an abundance mindset?
What if you’re not feeling abundant? What if you don’t have any abundance?
Check out my free webinar to learn more!
You can register at damonwellness.com/gifts to see the replay.
In this free 30 minute webinar, "Mind Hacks for Work Stress, I discuss:
- Why typical stress management advice doesn't work
- How I designed a system where it does work like it's supposed to
- What Success Mindset with Jessica is and how it works
- One of the WORST mindsets you can have at work that's causing you MOST if not all of your stress
- How to shift into abundance mindset to receive more abundance in your life
- Where to go from here?
Register at at damonwellness.com/gifts! Hope you enjoy!
WTF is Conscious Engineering? 0 Comments
Is it a fad or a healthy lifestyle change?
How Conscious Engineering can help you.
In this digital age, we are constantly bombarded with new messages, ideas, thoughts, and behaviours, which can get very overwhelming. Especially for those dealing with a health condition, all the information about diet changes, exercises, desk adjustments, etc. can put us in decision paralysis where there's too many choices and we end up not taking any action at all.
Conscious engineering is a term coined by Vishen Lakhiani, CEO of MindValley, in his book, "The Code of the Extraordinary Mind" to describe a system of learning that can help us choose which new (and old) ideas we actually want to utilise to help us become healthier, happier individuals faster.
Our beliefs shape our habits.
Our beliefs, which Lakhiani calls, "models of reality," shape how we think about the world, the people in our lives, and ourselves. For example, "a good family consists of parents who are married," or "I'll be happy if I lost a few pounds" are models of reality.
Our habits, which Lakhiani calls, "systems of living," are the activities that we partake in to maintain our models of reality.
For example, with the model of reality that a "real" family consists of parents who are married, you might focus a lot of your energy and create systems of living that include moving in with a long-term boyfriend in the hopes of moving your relationship to marriage. Or you might develop systems of living that involve treating your partner as indifferently or nastily as possible because you want a divorce but you "can't."
For the "I'll be happy if I lost a few pounds" model of reality, your systems of living may involve working out, going to yoga with friends, or eating ice cream and chastising yourself after.
Conscious engineering allows to you choose what you want to learn.
In our everyday lives, we are constantly learning whether we know it or not. When there's a new fashion or diet fad out, some of us just learn and internalize it as "something we should do." We just think, "I should be dieting," and every time we reach for the ice cream in the freezer, we chastise ourselves. And this actually contributes to our stress!
We also carry many beliefs and habits from when we were kids that may not even be working for us as adults anymore. (I talk about my old childhood belief about productivity in the video below.)
Most things that we learn can be categorized as either a model of reality or a system of living. Conscious engineering is a way of learning that encourages you think of the things you learn everyday as one of these two things.
Let's see how...
Back to the "I'll be happy if I lose a few pounds" example - you notice that this is a model of reality that all of your friends have adopted. But you take a look at your own life and realize that you don't really like the idea of "dieting," you don't like chastising yourself, and you'd much rather focus your energy on doing healthy things as opposed to losing pounds.
So you turn this model of reality around into, "I am happy now and am living an active lifestyle," and you adopt habits that fit in with this belief.
Imagine how you would feel!
As you go about your day, see if you can categorize new ideas and thoughts you hear into either models of reality or systems of living, and then decide if it's something that you'd like to incorporate into your own life or not. This will help you cut down on all the "noise" and suggestions and ideas out there so that you can finally take inspired action!
To learn more about conscious engineering and how I applied it to my own life when it came to addressing my old crippling and stressful beliefs about "productivity," check out the video below:
Follow me on Facebook to see these videos come out live every Monday and Thursday from April to June!
For more info about coaching with me, please visit: damonwellness.com/empowered
Article originally published on damonwellness.com/conscious-engineering
What to ask your future self? 0 Comments
By Jessica May Tang
Tune in to your future self for guidance, confidence, and optimism
Do you ever feel lost, unsure of yourself, or frustrated at your lack of progress towards your goals? This Future Self exercise is a quick way to give yourself a boost of guidance, confidence, and optimism.
Many of us carry very old mindsets that make it difficult for us to act like our future selves today. Most of the time this is due to fear or shame triggered by old brain patterns that have now become automatic due to years and years of repetitive use.
Doing this Future Self exercise can actually help your brain create new thinking and behaviour patterns that reflect your Future Self. The more you practice this exercise, the more times the patterns get repeated and the more automatic these new patterns become...until you actually find that you ARE your future self!
Step 1: Create a clear picture of your future self.
Think about what he/she looks like, feels like, does for a living, does for fun. Think about what kinds of friends and family he/she has. Think of as many details as you can.
If you don't know the answers to the above question yet, that's ok! Give yourself time, space, and patience to form the picture in your head. Then check out the following tip...
Tip #1: Concentrate on the feelings.
It's much harder to answer the question of "who" your future self is compared to what your future self wants to be feeling. So try asking yourself, "How do I want to feel in the future?" Loved? Valued? Worthy? Like you're having fun every day?
Step 2: Imagine yourself being your future self.
Close your eyes, take a couple deep breaths, then really imagine being your future self. Immerse yourself in feeling like future you and doing the things that future you would be doing, seeing the things that future you sees, smelling the smells future you smells, etc. Try to use all five senses - see, hear, smell, taste, and touch.
Tip #2: Make sure you're in first person.
Our brains have this really cool feature that puts us either in third person point of view, in which you are essentially watching yourself in a scene, or first person point of view, in which you see out of your own eyes. When we dissociate into third person, our subconscious minds are removing the emotions attached to the experience, which can be useful during negative experiences.
But for the future self exercise, where you want to feel all the positive feelings, you want to heighten all the feelings and senses by being in first person. You're basically tricking your brain in this stage to thinking that you are already are future self.
Step 3: Repeat as much as you can.
By tricking your brain into thinking that you already are your future self, the more your actions, perspectives, emotions, and energies will be like that of future self on a day-to-day basis. And by the Law of Attraction, by emitting the mindsets and energies of future self, you are attracting more of what your future self wants. And this means that you will reach the success you associate with your future self much sooner than if you had never heard of this exercise!
This exercise can take however long you want. I usually do this every night before I go to sleep and every morning right when I wake up and I'm still in bed.
Tip #3: Instead of reaching for your phone in the morning, try doing this exercise for 3 minutes instead.
Start your morning off on an uplifted, optimistic, and confident note by checking in with your future self. Sometimes, during this exercise, the coolest ideas will come to you that will help you move infinitely closer to actualizing future self! (Pst...that's your intuition talking to you!)
For the month of April, I've been doing a mini web series on Facebook Live about mindset shifts to help you reach success faster. Follow me here. I post videos every Monday and Thursday - hope to see you there!
Check out one of my Facebook Live videos about Future Self here:
Feel happier in 1 simple step
Whenever I do a talk at a workplace, or speak to someone in a 1:1 consultation, I always get asked 'how can I feel more positive, more present and happier in life?'
The fact is, over 70% of people report feeling overwhelmed, stressed and exhausted on a regular basis, and this takes away from their ability to feel content and at peace in their life. They find themselves letting out their anger on loved ones, suffering from constant worries and feeling drained during the day.
Can you relate?
There is 1 incredibly simple exercise you can do every day that takes under 30 seconds and it will leave you feeling happier, more present and more fulfilled in your life.
Sound too good to be true?
Well, it's not!
In fact, research has shown this practice to be incredibly powerful in lifting happiness levels.
So what is this simple activity?
A Gratitude Practice! Simply saying 3 things you're grateful for every day has proven to boost creativity and reduce anxiety levels!
Here's how to do it.
Choose a time of day when you will do your gratitude practice - it must be the same time every day to help you create the habit - and write down or simply say out loud 3 things you're grateful for.
It could be anytime of day. I like to do it first thing in the morning because it puts me in a positive mood for the day. Some prefer night time so they can go to bed feeling content. There is really no right or wrong!
Feel free to include this as part of a morning ritual / meditation practice you already have going! Nothing wrong with being efficient while working on your health!
Here are some examples of things you might be grateful for:
- a partner / friend in your life
- someone made you laugh
- someone gave up their seat for you on the way to work
- the sun is shining
- a delicious lunch
- 'me-time' that left you feeling refreshed
- a good night's sleep
- a job you love
- spending time at the beach / in nature
- a pet you love
- a project finished successfully at work
- you ate well today
- you exercised
- you're ALIVE!
- and so much more....
Why is gratitude so powerful?
One of the reasons this is so effective for reducing stress and boosting happiness levels is because the brain is linear; it thinks sequentially - i.e., one thought at a time. If you direct your thoughts to focus on positive things, you cannot be stressed in that moment!
And when you do this regularly, you are literally training your mind to find and focus on positive things. This helps you feel more positive on a daily basis, while also expanding your problem solving skills (as you're open to more solutions rather than focusing on the problem itself).
There is an inspiring TED talk I recommend watching for some extra inspiration. Check it out here:
Your Next Steps
To implement this right away and experience the benefits instantly:
- Choose the time of day you will say your gratitude practice - morning, just before bed, on the train / bus to walk, lunch time, etc.... remember, there is no right or wrong.
- Add an appointment in your calendar and set the reminder so it goes off every day at your chosen time. This will ensure you remember it and don't use "Oops, I forgot" as an excuse!
- Have a notepad on hand if you want to keep a gratitude journal, or you can simply say what you're grateful for without writing it down.
- Then do yourself a favour and take time to reflect on how good it feels to be in a state of gratitude.
Let me know by commenting below or sending me an email how the practice serves you and what sorts of things you find yourself being grateful for every day. If you repeat something most days, thats totally OK. In fact, its awesome! It means this thing is really important to you and the fact it keeps coming up brings to light what you value and want more of in your life :-)
To your happiness,
Recipe for Health
PS Want more?
How about from:
- Lifehack - Happiness Hack: 10 Ways To Be Happier, Backed By Science
- Jessica May Tang: Practicing Gratitude can Bring Huge Benefits to Your Life & Business
What do I have to do to be healthy? 0 Comments
Simple Strategies for Getting and Staying Healthy
A question I get asked a lot, as if there is some secret hidden Nonna’s recipes that’s waiting to be found. When I’m approached with this, I literally want to pull out the PowerPoint, pass out the pen and paper and spend the next two hours discussing and dissecting what health is, why it’s worth investing in and why there is no simple, general answer.
For the sake of another blog post, let’s entertain this question in less than two hours and in writing!
Firstly, let’s look at what health is NOT;
- Health does NOT just involve eating ‘healthy’ (a whole other subject) foods, following a strict diet and exercising a minimum of half an hour a day.
- Health is NOT having a sanitized personality, being a do-gooder, finding a job and being “deemed worthy by society”
- And health is NOT putting on a brave face to the rest of the world, pretending everything is okay meanwhile your internal world is crumbling down to the point of suicide.
In fact, it’s almost quite the contrary.
Health is ALL ABOUT YOU!
It’s not just about what you have to do, but it’s also about choosing who you want to be and how you go about doing that. Health is a BODY, MIND & SOUL collective and perspective, experience.
Simply put, what do you have to do to be healthy? You have to be your own version of genuine happiness. You have to learn to fall in love with yourself, accept yourself, understand and embrace your differences and be the most important person in your world!
You have to be up for your own journey. You have to take an interest in how you operate and function, physically, mentally and spiritually (there goes that BODY, MIND & SOUL approach again!).
To be healthy is the goal-but the goal is committing yourself to the journey…
OH! I’M DEEP!
So, I apologise to those of you who wanted me to say;
‘All you have to do is eat three leaves of spinach a day and walk to your car, that should do the trick.’
You could give that a whirl and see how that works for you, but I guarantee I’d initially get a lot of lazy customers to begin with, and everyone demanding a refund with a lot of bad reviews!
To be healthy is to find your own balance, to find your own beat to your drum, experiment with food, people, ways of living and genuinely see how that works for you. The irony is that we are constantly changing and just when you think you may have mastered the basic guidelines of what healthy looks like and feels like, something, or someone, or even you-change…not change, evolve.
To be healthy is to be living. To be living is to know that you matter and that you have something that you know the world will benefit from receiving.
Is health synonymous with happiness? DAMN STRAIGHT!
In fact, that’s the best indicator you have. If you are not happy, this is your opportunity to start being curious, experimenting, tweaking or totally overhauling your current system that is not generating your happiness.
Start with food. This is where my health and wellness journey started and is an absolute vital component of overall health and wellness.
Changing your diet alone and finding YOUR optimum nutrition not only generates body awareness, but clears the mind and emotions and balances your body chemically, allowing you to access greater depths of self development and personal understanding.
It’s the easiest place to start because you see the physical benefits, which is why we do it initially. But you also notice the internal, emotional and mental changes it affects and I can’t encourage finding your optimum nutrition enough for these benefits alone!
When you start really getting to understand your body, accepting it, appreciating it and really looking after it, you’ll see how this same approach applies to all other areas of your life.
Think about the person or thing that you love most in this world, how much love and genuine care you give it, or them. In order for you to be healthy, this is the kind of TLC you need to give to yourself.
So, how I start my day is by allowing positive thoughts to enter my head, sometimes through guided meditation, journaling or my own crazy conversations and motivational speeches!
I then focus on how I’m feeling, reminding myself of the person I’m striving to be and the legacy I’m creating-that is an upbeat, energetic human, encouraging others to take an interest in themselves to reach their optimum health and happiness.
I then go and drink a minimum 1 litre of beautifully sourced alkaline water, followed by green tea-and that’s how I generally start my day, dedicated to my journey to unleashing my health, happiness, kindness and potential.
That works for me, but may sound tedious to you. Find your own version of positive starts to your day…it could be getting up and walking the dog, or making some good old-fashioned love to your beautiful partner in life, either way, if you are happy and those around you are, then it’s a good start!
So, what do you have to do to be healthy?
The Happy Health Coach
On a journey to find myself again.
"A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step"
I was speaking with a sales consultant for a holiday time share, as one has time for when on holiday.
The guy couldn't get a handle in where to slot me into the spiel, after all I am living most people's dream, the dream they are selling.
I do, by choice work a few days a week, I have closed shop for three months, when at home I live on the beach and do as I choose more often than not.
Was this luck, was it define fault, was it even conscious? I will say, a lot has been choice.
I don't want a lot, and fought for this type of a lifestyle, one that goes against the popular perception of house, car holidays, oh and don't forget the endless happy smiley moments with family and abundance of friends chucked in.
It isn't a new argument that social media has a lot to answer to, but one needs to consider where did these popular thoughts actually come from? Our parents and the propaganda of our forefathers, media employed to 'sell' the image the companies wanted us to buy into to sell their product.
This too is not a new topic and I have spoken of it before, it is after all a rebellion trigger to what I am now doing.
See I too got caught up in the ought to's of living, I ought to have a family that totally adore and love me, (I am sure they do, but it is buried in their fear and uncertainty) I ought to have a uber multi-million dollar producing business so I can sit at the beach when I choose, Oh, right I do that now.
It has taken me some time to remember to be true to me. Do I need to be colour co-ordinated to leave the house, or clean and presentable in comfortable clothes?
Must I behave a certain way and work 6 days a week, create funnels and tell people they are not doing things right for their health if they are not doing A, B, or even C?
I don't think so. I have left for a three month, a reset adventure which in truth started last Thursday.
Since then , in only 1 week I have traveled. Firstly 1673 km in three days in Australia, then I hopped on the plane for another 15,180km to arrive at my current location in Crete.
The bus stops are a little different here
Thankfully, I didn't need to drive the entire way, but when considering what it does to our body, one can sit back and just go wow!
What have these revelations got to do with anyone?
To be honest, not sure, as we each make our own choices based on our own beliefs and values, my had become blurred and skewed from what was important, so I chose to reclaim my life and for me, at the time travel seemed the best way to do it.
What is yours though, is for you to work out.
Are you happy? If not why not? What is out of balance? What is it you are OK with to enable the bigger picture of love and life to occur?
What changes in your perception, attitude, behaviour, habits etc can be altered or tweaked to bring things back in order.
Seeking help from a trusted and experienced support person is vital to help see through the fog that we create.
For me, I had moved too far into the forest, with fog so deep not to see easily. As a result I have left the space and things immediately started to change.
I am feeling somewhat better in my mind, I have a laissez faire confidence which has opened up conversations with people at home in ways I didn't think was possible.
I am finding here while talking with people they are in the same boat, which is somewhat comforting.
It is also prompting me to think one reason why I needed to leave was not to rescue myself, but to help the people around me. My counsellor suggested this might actually happen.
So, the question then arises, am I being selfish by doing something I want/needed to do, or have I been called to help others while helping myself?
After all, in all things the physics of cause and effect happen, and it is possible as each of us reclaim more of our true selves not only do we provide the space for others to do the same, by example, but also by default give other the courage to consider another way of doing, of living.
"Every second is a choice. "Do I do this or that? " Choosing to not make a choice and allowing others to decide is a choice to hand over one's power to another.
Be careful with whom you play this game with, as they may be more adept of looking after their own needs than you are and by default you fall into the ideals of another, and a puppet for them to play with.
(By the way, I didn't buy into the time share I was being 'sold'. It worked out I made a good decision all those years ago and have a better deal. Another message this week that I have been and still are on the right path, even if it was covered in mud at the time. :)
"You cannot become who you want to become by only doing what you want to do. Don't do only what you feel like doing. Ambitiously tackle whatever's required to move toward what you aspire to"
If any or all of this has started you to think, then consider purchasing the Awareness and Accountability Journal I created while undergoing serious transformation.
It encapsulate a mirage of ideas and questions created over time to help me gain clarity. It has been used by my clients in a variety of ways, and it may just help you too. Interested? Find out more here. It might help you get where you would rather be :)
Happiness, not orange is the new black 0 Comments
By John Lechner
Forget orange! Happiness is the new black
Every week there is a new trend, something you should do to reach optimal life, something to acquire to keep up with the trends but you know what. Most of that is complete bullshit!
We spend far too much of our lives chasing meaningless goals, spending tens or even hundreds of thousands of dollars on stuff, a bigger house, a faster car, the shiny new iPhone.
The reality is that this is NOT the way to find happiness, to live a better life.
Recently I was listening to my favourite podcast - Conversations with Richard Fidler from Australia's ABC. Each weekday Richard has a real conversation with one person for about 55 mins. I love it.
But this recent episode was with Lisa-Ann Gershwin and Lisa-Ann said one of the most profound things I have ever heard. When referring to getting a job and an education, people that love us tend to point us in the direction of the safe, usually boring and sometimes soul destroying options.
Lisa-Ann stopped me in my tracks with this:
"What they don't tell you is that if you love it so much that it's like air or water, like you need it for your mental health, you need it.AndYou don't need a job that pays really well because you only need all that money to buy things to entertain you because you don't like your job.If you like your job you don't have to have all those other things to entertain you because you are way too interested in what you're doing."
Sadly too few people enjoy their jobs. And this doesn't mean you need to quit a career and change to something completely different. Unless that is what you need.
But perhaps it means finding a new workplace or employer, one that understands that your happiness, you wellbeing is front and centre in the culture of the organisation from the CEO down.
Great organisations focus on their people as the most important asset in their business.
If you work in a business with a toxic culture, I only have one piece of advice, leave, find a new job quickly. Life is short.
If you own or run a business with a bad culture then you need to start making changes today. You are on a path to destruction that is bad for you, your team and your customers.
If you want help, I can help you begin the change and point you in the direction of some great people that can help you make the changes you need to. Start today by getting in touch and booking a one to one consultation - we call it the Profitable and Productive Office Review.
Office Art Specialist
Getting to know the most interesting person in your life
There lies some serious power within, when you give yourself the chance to be authentically you! I’m not consistently there. I’m not a guru, I’m human, and I really love that about this life!
If you’ve read my other blogs though, I seem to always find an opportunity to throw in that we are put on this Earth to learn and grow, and it’s nothing short of fascinating for me.
Especially when I think about all the experiences and opportunities I’ve been given and upon reflection, how I have unconsciously sabotaged my chances at making choices that were right for me.
We are complex beings and self-discovery ain’t for the faint hearted. It’s for the determined, strong-willed and those who seriously want to make a difference.
I’m not saying I want to be the next female Tony Robbins, but something to that effect I most certainly would give a shot! In the mean-time, however, I’ll start the best way I know how to.
By example, by encouragement and because I passionately believe I’m onto something seriously valuable and I see how others benefit around me.
Life is to be nothing less than interesting, valuable, curious, awe-inspiring and totally incomprehensible! We can try our very best to make sense of this life, but I’m going to leave that to the scientists of the world.
My job and my gift is to show you how to embrace your life, just like I have and am still learning to do.
Since I choose to work with all the wonderful women of the world, we get to be real girls and talk about all things hairy, waxed, smelly, concerning, funny, sad, optimistic, stuck, depressing, delightful and whatever else can and needs to be aired, because that is what is of significance to your life, right now.
I have a very ‘down-to-earth’ approach about life and in particular about our bodies. You see, I have always been curious to experience what it would be like living amongst a nomadic tribe wearing nothing but a couple of leaves or string, for purposes I’m still uncertain about.
Either way, I embrace the female body in all its glory, lumps, bumps, scars and skin. We ladies and all females have the same part, they just may look slightly individual, and to me, that’s another beauty to embrace.
I’m not saying we are going to have nude parties, I’ll leave that to the latest yoga craze, of which I haven’t managed to muster up the courage to perform dancers pose, in the nude, in a room full of strangers during that time of the month.
But what I do encourage is for you to really get to know yourself, and that is no easy feat.
When you actually really stop to think about it, we all, whether you are capable of understanding this, have the choice to be the Hitler’s of the world or the Ghandi’s of the world, and the beauty about this life is that we have a choice.
So I’m certainly not going to be an extremists of any kind-good bad or ugly, nor do I want to conform and be those boring old sheep’s of society, but I am striving to walk to the beat of my own drum (never played drums before, so you’re up for some interesting beats).
I’m making a conscious choice and effort to sit within myself, be honest, think and feel all my thoughts and emotions and make a conscious choice to choose my beat time and time again.
I strive to do things that will benefit me and my children, that give us the best opportunities and that will help us continue to live a real-life, with authentic experiences and amazing people in it.
Through my own journey of personal development I am at the point now where I have a pretty good understanding of myself, and the only way I got there was to be open, see myself, warts and all, feel totally ashamed and uncomfortable;
‘fail’ at my first attempt at marriage
‘fail’ as a parent
‘fail’ as a daughter, friend, employee-I know, I’m sounding like a stand-up girl!
But as I’ve already said in this blog, and pretty much all the others, we are on this planet to learn and grow and for all my failures, I’ve learnt and continue to learn.
I certainly do not go out of my way to fail, I’m human, and I don’t know it all, so failure is a part of life and I choose to use that opportunity to grow from the experience, instead of letting it tear me down.
That’s where you start to recognise your strengths. That’s where you develop courage and determination and that’s where you really start to see life as an adventure and a game.
How did I get to this point? Meditation and journaling have been the keys to my soul. These practices did not come easily.
They were frightening, scary and intrusive. I had to put my most vile words down on paper (and I’ve still got it in one of my many journals), and emotionally speaking I sat in my own shit, until I sat long enough to find the peace within that many gurus bang on about.
But they were right, and through my perseverance and determination I got there. And through the process of it all, I became utterly fascinated with all of me…not in a conceited way, in a curious way.
We are some crazy-arse species with a brain that we haven’t even given a good hard go at! But I tell you something so true,
YOU ARE THE MOST INTERESTING PERSON YOU WILL EVER MEET!
A lot of us leave this world having learnt a lot, but not really understanding who we are as an individual, and I find that really sad.
I have engaged with people who literally live life on automatic because they conform to society.
I’m sorry to say that these people have been the most mind-numbing of people and it has been impossible to actually get to really know who they are.
They can’t seem to stretch past a conversation about the weather, or how shit work is, or tell me the local gossip, but god-forbid I challenge them and ask them a personal question that could potentially ignite a genuine, authentic friendship, where we can actually share our thoughts, dreams and ideas.
It is just off limits, and while they are entitled to live their life as they please, they are missing out on really experiencing the true depths that a friendship can offer.
So, in a constant bid to encourage you to really do something left of centre, against the grain and totally rebellious, step out of the crowd, grab an empty exercise book and a pen, go find a tree or a quite spot to sit down and finally introduce yourself to the most interesting person on the planet…
I could piss in your pocket here and say you are about to meet an incredible, amazing, wise beyond your years, hilarious, kind and generous human being, and you will.
But, for every plus sign you see on a battery, you’ll find the negative at the opposite end, and you will also get to know the craziest, unrelenting hypocrite, that really makes you see all sorts of lunacy and concerning behaviours.
But in meeting this side of you I hope you see that nothing and no-one makes sense and that will help you find compassion and empathise with those who really don’t understand themselves at all.
As a result you will notice that you are, in fact, the most interesting person you will ever meet!
The Happy Health Coach
Introducing Leslie Thompson 0 Comments
By John Lechner
Leslie Thompson - The Happy Health Coach
The day I met Leslie I knew we were on a similar path and mission to help people take charge of their lives, to live happy and healthy lives. We sat down for a chat and told stories for far longer than we planned.
I am very excited to introduce you to Leslie Thompson the latest member of our Wellbeing at Work Blog Team.
Leslie is based in Newcastle NSW Australia but grew up in Redcliffe near Brisbane in Queensland.
Leslie tells me she has a secret passion for hair but jumps out of her skin when it comes to all things healthy, natural and human!!!
Leslie is driven by contributing to improving people's lives through health and wellness. She is driven by nurturing, helping and looking after others the best way she knows how…through the body, mind and soul.
When asked, what do you do and who do you help?
"Supporting individuals to look at their health concerns and make it a priority to change!"
Leslie loves to travel and her favourite place is Hawaii.
Her bucket list item not yet ticked off is the TAJ MAHAL!!!
I asked Leslie for her favourite food and travel story...
"It’s not much of a story, really- The way to my heart and soul is, ironically, through pizza and ice-cream, and while I was visiting family in Argentina, I was blissed, blessed and blown away by the bloody beautiful, mouth watering, perfectly created flavoured pizza and dulce de leche ice-cream!
I’ve travelled to infamous Italy and also tried their pizza and gelato, and they come in a close second on my best pizza and ice-cream list, but I guess you can take the girl out of Argentina, but you can’t take Argentina out of the girl!!!"
If you had $1000 spare and no rules on how to spend it what would you do?
"Just $1000…? Get my butt to the Taj!"
How do you connect with Leslie?
Facebook The Happy Health Coach
By Coach Barb
How to get your day off to a great start
What a better way to start your day knowing that you have work. Not many people can say the same.
You have the choice how to start your day, and it might as well be optimistic.
I had my shares of negativity in the workplace, and I know first hand how hard it is to work side by side with someone that you perceive as an energy vampire.
We have the ability to see things not as they are, but how we choose to see them.
I have learned to choose how to see things instead of seeing them as they are. Because of this simple yet hard task, I was able to overcome the negativity at work.
It sounds hard, and I have to admit it is not easy. But, it is not impossible.
What is your morning routine? Let me guess; you stumble out of bed, take a shower get ready and run out the door. The key to having a good day is to start your day early.
For example, If your start time is eight in the morning wake up two hours before.
By waking up early, you give yourself time to drink a cup a coffee and enjoy a morning routine that will make a world of difference at work. Let’s dive right in.
Below you will find five simple steps to help you start your day feeling great.
After you take your nice shower find a quiet place to sit. Start your day with a short meditation; you can visualise how your day will turn out.
For example, see yourself walking into the office with a smile on your face, saying hello to everyone, yes even the one person that drains you.
But, you will see everyone with your eyes not as they are. Feel happy while you are doing this and do not let any negative thoughts enter your mind. See yourself successful throughout the day. Feel it.
Affirmations are phrases that help you feel good.
For example, I AM powerful; I AM a great accountant, I AM the best customer service representative, I AM the best. You get the picture.
Get a pen and paper to write out five powerful affirmations for you to take with you to work. Repeat them to yourself all day and believe what you are telling yourself.
The goal is to help you stay in a positive state of mind.
3. Point Out The Good
Choose to see things in a positive way. Let’s face it; the bad apples will always be around.
Do not concentrate on other people's behaviours, focus on the good that is around you.
Stay away from what doesn’t feel right.
Keep to yourself if you have to and go back and read the five affirmations you wrote in the morning. Your goal is to feel good.
4. Stay Away from Gossip
A sure way to get sucked into a negative work environment is to give into gossip. Do not repeat negative situations that will occur.
Do not stay and listen to that one person that complains about everything; you know who that is.
It is your right to steer away from situations that will take you down into a spiral of negative emotions.
Excuse yourself and do not participate in office gossip. Talking nonsense will never lead to good things.
5. Focus on Your Work
Enjoy your job. Bring Out the fun in what you do. It doesn’t matter your department, for example, sales, accounting, marketing, warehouse, human resources, customer service, you get the picture.
It doesn’t matter. Find the fun in what you do. When I worked in sales, my goals became a game.
If I had to make fifteen face to face appointments weekly, I pushed myself to do twenty. The more I pushed myself, the more fun I had.
In summary, you have the choice to make things better. It is a mindset, and you do have control on how you see things.
It takes practice and commitment to make life changes. Promise yourself that you will carry out the appropriate changes to make your day a better day.
Besides, the best things in life are the things you experience while being happy.
Have a fantastic day,
Introducing Coach Barb 0 Comments
Meet Coach Barb - Barbara Berenguer-Negrin
Coach Barb joins the Wellbeing blog from sunny Miami Florida. I have only been to Miami once but sitting on South Beach, drinking the biggest beer I have ever seen while Kim tried to tackle a Mojito that was as big as her head, I am not likely to forget it.
The parade or cars and people was amazing. I remember this one guy walked past several times with a large iguana on his shoulder and back. Any how enough of my reminiscing lets meet Coach Barb.
Barb is a Miami local having grown up there and now runs her business from the sunny city.
Barb is passionate about people. Her expertise is in wellbeing and personal development. Barb is driven by a good challenge drives. She is always looking for learn new ways, new things and finding new opportunities.
I asked Barb "what do you do and who do you help?"
"I am a Happy Coach! Focusing on Wellbeing & Career Coaching. Helping Women achieve their goals, so they can feel joyful, powerful & HAPPY."
Barb loves Spain and has been there a lot. She recounts "My spouse and I love to travel. We go to Spain a lot, and I can remember one afternoon in 2010 we took a road trip towards Galicia. We were hungry and felt a little adventurous.
We drove into a small little town called Villafranca Del Bierzo. What a delightful small town. We ate lunch at a local restaurant the food was delicious and very affordable. The adventure continued we checked into a hostel and spent the weekend there. A great meal and weekend."
I asked Barb what was on her bucket list of places?
Amsterdam is at the top of Barb's list. The reason is that of the beautiful flowers that bloom in Spring. One of my favourite artists is Vincent Van Gogh, and I would like to visit his museum. I have seen pictures and having a friend that lives in Holland will make this trip more memorable.
You can find Coach Barb here:
Back in 2014 when I first launched my business I travelled to Iceland for a shoot. 10 days, 3,600km of driving and over 5,000 images captured. This is me at the top of a mountain taking a moment to smell the roses, enjoying the spectacular view.
By John Lechner
How to make it through the day with your boring job
Before I start on the tips allow me a little rant. Life is short, you hear it and see it every day. I know that if you are in a job you hate, you feel stuck there, bills, your mortgage or rent hold you there. There are thousands of reasons to stay there.
If you hate your job, you feel trapped, your job is literally going to kill you, if not it will take years or even decades off your life.
If you have the luxury of being in a position to just quit, do it. Chase your dream, follow your passion and create a new job, a new life for yourself.
But I am guessing you don't have that luxury. Then what you need to do is take some time. Ask yourself, if you could have any job, any way to earn the money that you need what would that be?
Once you know what that job is, what training, experience or skills do you need to do it?
If you already have the necessary skills and experience then formulate a plan to turn your new path into a side hustle, something you can work on in every spare moment, turn that into something that reaches the tipping point where you can jump off the cliff and chase that dream feet first.
If you need to re-train, get more experience or learn more, then do that. Remember just because you are stuck in a job doesn't mean you have to stay there, change it, step outside your comfort zone.
Finally, create space in your life to make the changes you need. When I started this business I had a full time job. I sat down with my boss and worked out an exit plan. That started with me going part time, just 2 days a week, then eventually I left, I stayed on for a few more months as a consultant.
Admittedly I had a great boss, who still supports me and my vision today. But perhaps you can cut down to 3 or 4 days at your day job. If you don't feel comfortable sharing why, then don't. Just find a way to chase your dreams, live your life.
Stop, being a slave to the spot you are stuck in right now and start being the person you dream to be. Something I learned in the early days and still stays with me today.
Dream it. Plan it. Make it happen.
End of rant, on to the tips. These tips will help, but finding a job you love is the most important step. Perhaps you have a job that you love (i.e. you are a nurse or accountant or solicitor) but the culture in your organisation is awful, then the simple answer is to start researching and find a great organisation with great culture.
1. Modify your workspace
Create a vision board, get a small print, put a plant on your desk.
2. Help someone else with a big task
Is someone else in the office struggling with a big important task? Offer to help them
3. Learn a new skill
Obviously this should be related to your work if you are doing it in work time but perhaps there is training you can do to be better. Be the expert in a particular piece of software, help people simplify their jobs by creating or sharing a tool you use to make life easier
4. Bring live plants into the office
Live plants in the office bring so many benefits. Start with one and grow from there. Maybe create an air terrarium.
5. Take a break
Take your breaks, do not stay at your desk, in fact the best thing is to get outside completely, feel the sun on your face. Enjoy the natural light, sit under a tree, read a book but get outside.
6. Inspire yourself
Want to travel? Inspire your next travel adventure with a small print at your desk. Paris, New York, a South Pacific Cruise, on the beach in Bali. Find an image that will inspire you and have it on your desk.
7. Make someone laugh
Laughing is excellent therapy, real laughing the kind that leaves your cheeks and belly sore. Try and find a way to have a real laugh every day.
Whatever it is you do to make your boring job bearable. Remember the mantra - Dream it. Plan it. Make it happen.
What is your dream? Leave a comment below, I would love to hear it.
Making Life Changing Decisions and ACTUALLY Doing It!
It has been two months since I have written post here, and a lot has happened in that time.
Following my own suggestions of lofty questions and completing the journal questions, to gain clarity and action a journey started that has snowballed into something totally unexpected, and the courage to do it.
My questions were around abundance, connection with family and friends, and self awareness, these came in spades, one might say.
AS the saying goes, what we focus on, we attract and to be honest so many things in my life had come to a crossroad, it was becoming a health hazard.
I was stale, tired and disillusioned. Things were feeling like dead-ends, brick walls and not fulfilling. For this reason, my mind really started to wonder towards what if, and what could be different - lofty questions.
The universe kicked in fairly quickly, as the notion to take off on an extended adventure, reset the button so to speak and see what happened. As a result, the following has happened
- I am happier. I don't have to know the answer for an adventure, and so more able to go with the flow.
- Each time I have tried to book something, a flight or accommodation there have been hurdles that seem too hard, so I stopped fighting the hardness and decided to go with the flow.
- There seems to be a bigger picture that is not seen, and is asking to be trusted so that it can look after the smaller details without interferance.
- The recent journey to Asia - not speaking a word of the local languages, showed that all things pretty much can work with sign language and patience and a good dose of laughter, self and other compassion.
- Research into options before leaving to be aware of what could be, so that when on the ground, informed choices in the moment can be made
- In the case of my food intolerance/allergy, taking translation cards for the things I must not eat while in theroy good, was also humorous. Not sure if the translations are accurate, so there were a few good laughs with that.
- Be sure to have local currency in one's pocket everyone wants to eat, but the locals most likely will not have eftpos to look after you
- This trip was a test run of being able to travel by myself for a longer period of time.
The Europe trip, 3 months of wondering the groves of the continent starts in a few weeks. Excited and a little nervous, but seeing how supported I have been in preparation reinforces to me, I just need to go and do.
I have been able to create the money to pay for the ticket, I have reached out to people there who I haven't spoken to in ages and so re-connecting, The sequence of events leading up to now has been nothing short of synchronicity, in other words perfect, divine timing.
Coming back to the idea of focus. For a long time, there has been an internal struggle around 'what material things are acceptable to have'.
For some, possessions, and big things at that seem to be the thing to strive for. The keeping up with the Joneses, and keeping in form according to media, and advertising.
This is something I have generally not followed, I can't see the point of spending money to have the latest whatever for the sake of it. If it is needed because there isn't anything else in the house to use, then maybe, but not just because I am told I need it by the TV.
I have been fortunate to live comfortably in a van, drive a car - until it died, I eat well, what I choose, I travel, and do things that interest me. How? I choose to.
I am also in the position of not needing to consider others either. I chose to do things my way. Yes, at times I think about what others might think - my kids, my ex are big testers, but the beauty of this reflection is clarity - Do I want to be bigger, more successful, more wealth at the cost of my peace, comfort and sanity.
For me the answer is no. I would rather a simple life and contentment, health and emotional wealth than money that drains me.
Living simply philosophy is a good one, if one can do it, otherwise I think it would be too stressful. More so if the choice to do so was to meet another's expectation or trend, which is something I see coming through.
Similar to the happiness and gratitude trend. There is a good dose of truth and health in the messages, however, like most fads the message is great until we feel we need to perform only from that space and not be real.
It is impossible to always feel and be happy, content, loving and compassionate. Life can suck and big time at that, emotions of hate, anger, rage, and revenge do surface.
Are these bad? No they are not, but we are told we are not healthy if we feel them, we are not living the happy way.
The balance side of this is all things are allowed to be, the good, the bad, the ugly, the painful and down right run away and hide feelings, it in how we deal with them that counts.
Knee jerk or auto pilot reactions when we take time to consider them and learn from them are powerful teachers. It is then we can make changes in our thought, deeds and actions.
If we can take time out and ponder the big emotions that are coming up and allow ourselves to have a conversation with the emotions to learn the lesson they are bringing to our attention then they are helpful, an art of allowance that is beautiful and healing.
For instance, if a person just annoys you, see if they are doing things that you do, but you don't particularly like - the shadow self; If there are obstacles or things just 'not working' triggering frustration or even bulldozer affect are there control issues, or insecurity about not being in control showing up.
The deeper one delves into the core issue allows for fascinating realisations. You might need some professional help to take the dive, but it is worth figuring out the triggers so one acts from choice and integrity.
What is any of this got to do with you? Possibly everything or nothing. I am purely sharing to show that others are doing, what maybe you would like to do.
That small changes in thoughts, focus and choice can create massive impact of change.
In many ways from the living I have done to date, and learnings made has only reinforced the idea that we can only do so much the rest really is up to what our life journey is meant to be.
Yes, there is a lot more depth to this statement that I have not, and are not yet ready to share, so if you the reader is willing to take a leap of faith and start considering your life, your choices to date and be honest about what your crossroad choices are and then decide what is important to you.
They are your values, desires and acceptances, and no one would take them away form you. Live our life for it is truly only yours.
6 Tips For Creating Your Vision Board 0 Comments
Blog by John Lechner
Vision Boarding your future
Why it works?
Visualisation, it is a powerful tool used for decades by Olympic and other elite athletes.
"So, what’s the big secret to creating a vision board that works? It’s simple: Your vision board should focus on how you want to feel, not just on things that you want."
Your vision board is a collection of words, phrases and picture that represent your life goals, inspirations and visualising the things you want to feel and achieve. Vision boards are not just for ladies, blokes you should be creating a vision board.
Whatever your vision, running a marathon, climbing Kilimanjaro, Vegas for your birthday, travelling to Paris or a cruise with your family. You need to help yourself with inspiration, especially when things don’t always go your way.
Start Collecting - get actual prints, pages from magazines, prints things out. A vision board works best as a physical board on the wall so you need to go old school, get out the scissors, start cutting out, buy a print, find the inspiration and have copies of it.
Confine your vision board with a frame - go buy a photo frame (big one), a pin board, whiteboard (magnetic) and mount it on the wall in your space or home office.
Go big - if a small space isn’t for you then why not use a whole wall in your office as a vision board. If you are going big, try and keep the theming and colouring consistent.
Create a mini gallery - use your vision board in a frame on the wall and then put your favourite prints on the wall around it. You now are the proud owner of a mini gallery.
Big Goal - Make sure you have a massive goal as part of your vision board, that thing you really want, don’t think you can achieve. If it’s not on the vision board it won’t happen. If it is then it is far more likely. Want to travel to Paris for your birthday, then include a print of the Eiffel Tower on your vision board.
Grateful, your why - Every day we need to remind ourselves of what we are grateful for, our why, what drives us. Include on your vision board the things you are grateful for. Include thank you notes, words of kindness, things that remind you of your WHY!
Clearing the Junk Mail from Your Brain
Did you know that we all think about 50,000 thoughts a day? That's 35 thoughts a minute!
Out of those 50,000 thoughts a day, 90% of them are automatic. When was the last time you thought about how to put your shoes on? Or how to start your car? So many of our thoughts need to go on autopilot, or our brains would explode from all that slow processing of decisions to make each day.
Because of this cool brain feature, we are all also holding on to some old thoughts and behaviour patterns that we first developed in response to (good or bad) stressful events and kept using and reinforcing over years and years of repetitive and automatic use.
Out of these automatic thoughts, when was the last time you slowed down to examine whether each of them still worked for you or not?
Here are a couple very common ones that business owners address:
- Productivity means "doing what you gotta do no matter what," which really means no breaks.
- I need to physically see everyone working in the office.
- Employees need to do what I say in order for the company to succeed.
- There's not enough time for employees to pitch their creative solutions in order to choose the best one. There are deadlines we need to meet.
Do these ring true for you?
If not, are your actions, thought patterns, and systems around business, work, and your team correctly reflecting your real beliefs? Or are you just doing what you've been told to do by a business mentor or coach or the age-old "it's always been done this way" thought pattern?
These are tough questions to answer, and it isn't easy to spring clean your mind at all, but the benefits are astronomical. You'll discover thought patterns that are blocking your company from reaching its fullest potential, which means you'll have the choice to change them into ones that are actually aligned with your goals for yourself as a business owner as for your company!
Spring cleaning your mind gets rid of all the junk you've been believing on autopilot, opening up space for new beliefs, behaviours, and innovation that will put you on a faster track to longer-lasting success.
While you're doing through this process, why not invite your team to do the same?
Encourage your team to do some Mindful Spring (Autumn) Cleaning this quarter.
Share this idea of Mindful Spring Cleaning with your team and maybe go through the process together. You can all take a look at your beliefs and behaviour patterns around the activities you partake in each day, the decisions you make, and the roles that you fill, from parent to child to coworker to boss to employee.
Each of you may notice that there are more blocks in your life than you think, which can be overwhelming, but remember that awareness is the first step. One you are aware of the patterns that don't serve you anymore, feel empowered by the fact that you can change them!
To combat feelings of overwhelm and frustration, I will be on Facebook Live every Monday and Thursday for the entire month of April to walk my community through Mindful Spring Cleaning in an easy and systematic way. I invite you and your team to come join us on Facebook and get support from my videos and my community as we all go through the process together.
Quick tip: You are safe.
When finding old patterns that you want to change, try your best to figure out where it came from and why it started. Usually our brains first adopted the pattern as a response to fear - it sensed danger at the time and therefore was trying to keep us safe. So one of the most helpful affirmations that I've discovered is, "I am safe. I deserve to feel safe and loved, and there's no need to be afraid of that anymore. I am safe."
If you or your team want more support in releasing old blocks and reaching success as a company faster...
I offer corporate wellness services that aim to save you money, provide customised wellness education and workshops, and 1:1 coaching to teams to support them in reaching their potential as excellent, super-productive, happy, and healthy team members.
With my wellness services, I will support you and your team in sussing out the old patterns that they don't want to keep anymore in a systematic manner, choose new ones that are more aligned with each employee and his/her goals, and maintain these new patterns for long-term success in life and career.
Learn more here! Or contact me to learn more.
Original article posted on Damon Wellness Blog.
Why Mind-Body Connection Matters To Your Team
We understand that our minds are deeply connected to and affect our bodies, and vice versa. For example, when we’re feeling dumpy, we don’t have motivation and we don’t focus well. When we can’t get work done, it can cause us to think negatively about ourselves, our coworkers, our jobs, etc. And when we think that way, it may perpetuate the feelings of dumpiness.
According to the NIH, "there is a powerful mind-body connection through which emotional, mental, social, spiritual, and behavioural factors can directly affect our health...Over the past 20 years, mind-body medicine has provided evidence that psychological factors can play a major role in such illnesses as heart disease, and that mind-body techniques can aid in their treatment."
What does this mean for your employees?
From the above example, we can see a connection between the mind and the body, and it’s clearly affecting our ability to work and be productive.
If your employees are not treating their bodies well...
It's not only affecting their physiological health, it's also affecting their productivity and creativity. Those who are sedentary for much of the day are physiologically not creating enough blood flow in their bodies.
Their brains, muscles, and organs are not getting enough circulating blood flow with fresh supplies of oxygen, causing them to not only move slower, but to also think slower.
We as humans naturally take the path of least resistance because it's easy, so when our bodies are lacking blood flow and energy, our brains will refer to and use an old, easy behavior or thinking pattern to solve a problem.
Without bodily movement, creativity and new solutions are out of the question.
If you're wondering why your employees seem a bit lackluster, bored, or slow, it may be interesting to take a look at your wellness and engagement programs. Are your employees regularly engaging in healthy activities, whether provided by you or self-directed? If you don't know, how can you start finding out?
If your employees are not treating their minds well...
Their bodies will follow. (And when their bodies are not doing well...well re-read the last two paragraphs please.)
For example, an employee who regularly shows up at work with a mindset of, "Work sucks. I just need the money" may be going home each night exhausted, stressed out, and irritated and watches TV for the rest of the night to numb the stress and helpless or "stuck" feelings. His health may start to slip as he becomes more and more sedentary, which then has a further negative effect on his energy and stress levels.
One employee never works in isolation, either. This person's attitudes and mindsets also inevitably affects everyone else he works with. It may be difficult to work on projects together with him as he is not fully invested in the outcome of the work, causing stress levels to rise for the entire team.
Pretty soon, the whole team may be going home stressed out, exhausted, and irritated.
So what can you do as a business owner to address the mind-body connection?
You are your employee's wellness and culture model.
It's a good idea to consider whether you are walking the walk and talking the talk of wellness. It's easy to tell your employees to be healthier or to provide free gym memberships. But they're taking their wellness cues from you - if you work 15 hour days, they are too. If you have a negative or critical mindset, the ones who stay in the company will adopt that too, even they didn't come on board already with it.
So take a look at your own lifestyle to see if you are doing what you can to be a healthy and happy individual. This doesn't mean you have to perfect - just showing that you make a regular effort towards personal health and development will make a big difference. It makes you a better boss in the short and long run!
Check out the office environment.
Is it conducive to creating a happy, healthy, and creative culture? Is everyone sitting in cubicles with their heads in their hands, surrounded by tall grey bare fake walls? Or are there art on the walls? Is there colour in the space that is conducive to the type of energy you want in your company? Visual stimulus is a very important factor to consider in creating your company’s culture. Check out John Lechner’s artwork specifically designed for the office space here.
Create a good wellness program.
You can create a wellness program that specifically addresses your employees' mind-body needs. It's a good idea to assess where your employees are at, what they feel like their needs are, and then consider your budget and how much you can afford. This way you can get baseline numbers as well to see if your wellness program is saving you costs on healthcare, injuries, absenteeism, retention rates, etc. in the long-term.
For good and successful wellness programs, you can get up to 200% return on each dollar that you invest. So if you aren't getting close or at least closer to a 200% return with a few years of programming, it's time to reassess the program.
Many companies get discouraged when they don't see an immediate return in the dollars they invest in wellness programming and conclude that wellness is bogus. Consider the fact that wellness is not something that can be changed immediately. We're talking about unrooting deep-seeded mindsets to heal the mind and replacing decades-old "easy" habits that feed those mindsets and vice versa. It's not an overnight change, but the long-terms benefits are astronomical.
Not only will you experience a more creative and productive company, you'll have more cohesive, excited, motivated, and inspired teams of employees who are all working together to make your business dreams come true.
What if I don't want to do all that work?
There are a ton of wellness professionals out there providing all kinds of employee wellness and engagement workshops, classes, other services. And this can get a bit overwhelming. Maybe you've even tried a few of these but employee attendance was awful or none of what you provided were implemented.
You get that wellness programs are important and you want to make it a priority, but dealing with all the choices out there can be stressful.
This where a full-service company like Damon Wellness Consulting is helpful in saving you time, costs, and energy. From creating and administering surveys and interviews to learn more about the current wellness and engagement situation in your company currently, to creating a cost-saving wellness program that feeds not only your employees wants, but also needs (for they're oftentimes different), to providing a customised series of workshops, environmental readjustments, and one-to-one coaching...we do all the heavy lifting for you.
So please start dreaming about a more productive, innovative, motivated, inspired, healthy, cost-saving company! We'll do the rest.
One of the common denominators across people who are struggling with their health, happiness or confidence is a constant need to be liked by others.
They will continuously make decisions based on what they think other people expect of them or how they'll be judged by others, rather than doing what genuinely feels good for them and what aligns with their true desires and goals.
I know... I used to be one of these people!
I started writing a blog post about this topic, with some of the steps I took to overcome this block, as I see it limiting the success and happiness of people every day.
But as I was browsing through some research, I came across a video that sums up many of these steps and tools that I used.
The video is by Vishen Lakhiani, Founder of Mindvalley.com and its called "3 ways to be Unf*ckwithable". Because if you don't limit yourself or care about what others think or need their approval... then no one can f*ck with you and you can achieve new heights!
Vishen is really inspirational, very easy to listen to and provides simple guidelines for becoming a better version of yourself, with all tools and suggestions backed by science.
I recommend taking the time to watch this video as it can absolutely change your life and free you from the fear and judgement of others.
Sick of worrying about what people think of you?
Once you've watched it, let me know what you think by commenting below
To being unf*ckwithable!
Recipe for Health
Are Your Strengths Becoming Weaknesses? 0 Comments
At every interview someone will ask: “What are your strengths?”
Great question. Go write down your top 3 strengths!
Maybe you are strongest at:
Analysis, building relationships, operating a particular computer program, working with customers, building collaborative relationships, be strategic, your creativity, communication skills, team player, helpful, attention to detail.
The list could be endless.
The conventional wisdom in leadership development circles is that you should discover and capitalise on your strengths, assuming that they are aligned with some organisational need.
No matter how hard you work on certain weaknesses, the logic goes, chances are you’ll make only marginal progress.
Don’t waste too much time overcoming flaws; better to focus on what you do best and surround yourself with people who have complementary strengths.
It’s a reasonable approach that emerged as a response to an arguably unhealthy fixation on weaknesses when it came to performance reviews.
I love and applaud this movement. There is one caveat that we need to be aware of. It happens in a way that can blindside us and cause a lot of difficulty for those around us.
Take the manager (Pam) whose strength is her ability to think quickly and strategically. Those around Pam love her ability to cut through complexity and identify a pathway towards solutions.
Coupled with a strong technical knowledge this manager is a huge asset to the company. Why is it then that Pam is not being invited to meetings where her skills could be a great benefit to solving problems?
The reason: Pam is overdoing her strength. This is not deliberate, yet Pam is not aware of the effect it is having on those around her.
Because Pam thinks fast, is technically knowledgeable and has logical brain she is effectively shutting everyone out of the problem solution.
Pam isn’t as strong at being creative or finding innovative solutions. When Pam speaks out a pathway to solve the issue the logic is so impeccable and articulated in an insightful way those around her feel unnecessary, insignificant and unresolved.
There is also a nagging feeling that Pam’s solutions are good but maybe a even more creative solution can be found.
When we overdo our strengths they can become a weakness.
In fact I would push the point further and say we become ‘difficult’ to deal with when we are not aware of how our strengths can be overdone.
Think about any strength: let’s say you are a great team player who will help others when called upon. Over do this strength and you become a rescuer who may become resentful of doing more than others in the team. You have set up the conditions by which others come to rely on you.
“In our research we tested the effects of overused strengths on two aspects of team performance: vitality (defined as morale, engagement, and cohesion) and productivity (quantity and quality of output).
We found that taking a strength to an extreme is always detrimental to performance, but even a mild tendency to overdo it can be harmful. Be a little too forceful, for instance, and your team’s output may improve some—but vitality will take a hit, and weakened morale will eventually undercut productivity.
Be a little too enabling, and you may shore up vitality—but productivity will suffer over time, which will in turn erode morale. In general, overdoing it hurts your effectiveness just as much as under-doing it.
There is another cost: lopsided leadership. Once you overplay a strength, you’re at risk of diminished capacity on the opposite pole.
For example, a leader who is good at getting people involved in decisions, and has been encouraged to build on that strength, may not realise that in engaging so many others he or she is taking too long to move into action.
HBR reports that among the senior managers they studied, 97% who overdo forceful leadership in some respect also under-do enabling leadership, according to coworkers. And 94% who overdo operational leadership in some way also under-do strategic leadership."
Finding Your Balance
It’s not hard to see why overdoing a strength can get you into trouble, but an intellectual grasp of that concept and even a willingness to change won’t save you from yourself. To find some balance, you also have to come to terms with the roots of your behaviour.
Managers are always at risk of being one-dimensional—and often blind to what they sacrifice as a consequence. Your organisation may be able to help you mitigate the risks by holding up a mirror to your overused strengths and lopsided tendencies (arguably, you’re owed the information), but you can’t count on it.
Now more than ever, it’s your job to take control of your career—and it is in your power to manage your strengths so that they do not become weaknesses. I am not suggesting that it is reasonable to become perfectly balanced between, for instance, directional and enabling leadership strengths, or strategic and operational leadership. (In fact research from HBR suggests only about 5% achieve this).
I am suggesting limiting the damage of overdoing in one particular direction. Think of this as a tension to manage rather than a problem to solve.
How to make sure that your strengths don’t become a weakness?
- Identify your 3 top strengths and identify in what ways that strength could be overdone.
- Declare to those around you your possible strength overdone.
- Give those around you permission to help you to become aware when you are starting to over do an identified strength area.
- Trace overkill to its source, whether that’s an unexamined assumption that more is better or a set of overly high expectations.
ACTION: Communicate this concept with your team and have a discussion to raise self-awareness for everyone and start the self-disclosure process, if appropriate.
Do you GIVE or GET in your Relationships
I used to be masterful at the cutting remark, the quick quip to get a laugh. I used to be proud of it. It was part of my defence system throughout my working life in kitchens, bars, and then in the construction industry. I thought I had to be tough to survive. It is a part of Australian culture - the piss taking and banter that happens in our friendships & workplaces. And it is really uncool This kind of behaviour, seeking significance at the expense of another, slowly erodes relationships, teams, and communities.
In every relationship exchange you are either a significance GIVER, or a significance GETTER.
A significance GETTER wants to be the most important at all costs. It’s the woman in the office who always has a biting remark for her colleagues. It’s the person you know who shares gossip with you about the lives of those around them, and makes sure you know their shortcomings.
It’s the guy who makes everyone laugh, but the laughs are at someone else's expense. Or they distract from the purpose. And it is the successful person who has climbed the ladder on the backs of those around them.
A significance GETTER completely ignores your own success, or plays the game of one-upmanship. “You think that’s good, that’s nothing! Last week I [blah blah blah]”.
The conversation always comes back to them. They’re the bully, the clown, the show pony. They are on Facebook and social media, perpetuating drama, ranting, and vaguebooking to fill their perpetual need for attention.
So what are the shifts in thoughts and behaviour to move from Getter to Giver? It’s super simple, start focusing on other people.
Acknowledge the Success of Others
Take time to acknowledge and celebrate the success of others. Switch on to notice opportunities where people are sharing an achievement, or a goal they are working towards. Pick up the phone, or make time with them, to say “Hey, I heard about your success in ________ and I wanted to tell you how wonderful I think that is! Congratulations!”
The key to this is to focus the entire exchange around one purpose: to congratulate. Don’t combine your chat with any other business, don’t talk about yourself, or ask for a favour. You can say “Hey I only have about ten minutes; I just wanted to call to say how thrilled I am for you”. If you want to get really fancy, you could send a card, write a note, or give them a gift.
Become a Great Listener
A great conversationalist is someone who can listen and then respond with relevance. RELEVANCE is the operative word here! Your response must directly relate to what someone else has just said. Get curious, ask questions, and learn what makes them tick.
When you are still mentally hanging on to a story you want to tell, or you are planning the next thing you are going to say, you cannot possibly respond with relevance. You are not present, and you are waiting for your next opportunity to be a GETTER of significance.
Give a Great Compliment
I did some work with a sales team recently and one of the guys was a classic GETTER of significance. There was one particular day where I showed up to do some 1-2-1 work with someone on the team, and this guy said “Hey Tara, you look really nice today”. And it was so profoundly insincere that I didn’t feel special at all. I felt small and uncertain.
Luckily that day I was wearing my big girl panties, so I quickly remembered that I am awesome and my internal significance buffered me!
What you must understand is that if you don’t really mean it, don’t say it! People are incredibly intuitive. Your communication is a combination of your facial expressions, the tone and pitch of your voice, the expression in your eyes, your body language, and your words. Most people won’t know why something is off, but believe me they will feel it!
Say Thank You, on the Record!
So many people go through their days never hearing even a thank you, let alone a thoughtful and appreciative testimonial! The beauty of a testimonial is that your GIVING of significance has been magnified; you are now GIVING significance to that person in the eyes of many!
A testimonial could be in the form of a verbal rap to a colleague or your boss “It was so great last week when they did [thing], it made a massive impact on our project and allowed the day to run really smoothly”.
It could be a letter to a local business thanking a specific employee for the qualities that they have that you appreciate when you see them. Maybe you could write a Facebook or online review? And it doesn’t need to be business!
Could you tell your Mum how awesome your sister is? Or tell your kids how wonderful your husband is? Maybe tell a friend how kind another friend has been?
Such simple shifts in behaviour can create huge results in improved communication, collaboration, and connection.
I wonder if you tried a different way, whether the results you would get in your relationships might change? And whether as a result of the change in your relationships, whether your results in other areas of your life might change?
The Sugar Doctor
The 5 Keys to Marketing Your Love Life 0 Comments
If Love were your business, what would you invest?
Time and time again I see couples who have had enough of investing in their relationship - the time, money, and energy that they contribute to their partner is depleting their own resources. So what is the difference between a happy couple, and an exhausted couple? Successful couples have a clear strategy, and they know what works.
The basic principles of good marketing provide a great guide to love, and gives your customer (your sweet lover) a reason to continue to choose you over your competition.
Know Your Avatar
You’ve spent hours on this, you know your avatar in intimate detail. What they eat. Where they shop. What they lie awake at night wondering. Ask yourself: Do you know your partner that well?
Successful businesses have a very clear and focused approach to marketing, because they know what their customers want, and they deliver it. Taking the time to get to know your partner means you can identify what they want and deliver the perfect service or product to meet that need. They will never want to go to a competitor. You know, metaphorically.
Keep your Finger on the Pulse
We’ve all seen the embarrassing backlash from marketing campaigns that are out of touch with the changing desires and needs of their clients. The companies that are arrogant enough to believe that no matter what they deliver, their clients will love it - Think: U2 and Apple’s forced download of their album onto iPhones everywhere *cringe*.
Remember that your partner is a dynamic human being with complex desires, the difference between success and Songs of Innocence is to actively seek feedback on your strategy!
Find your niche.
This is your opportunity to make great headway! What is it about you, that is most valuable to your relationship. Sure, you may be a great provider, but is that the key to your lover’s heart? Or maybe you are in charge of fun, but neglect to take responsibility for your families day-to-day needs.
The best way to identify this is to notice the area you feel you are being nagged or ignored. If it were your business you would find a new approach quick smart! Do that.
Your Reputation is Everything
Reputation and credibility only happen when you deliver quality, and handle expectations and errors with grace and calm. Mistakes are inevitable, Good customer service is everything.
So it is in your relationship: Provide quality. Be graceful and clear when discussing expectations. Deliver on your promises. Be graceful in the face of challenge.
You already know that it is not enough in your business to do something well only once. You must be consistent in your delivery across the board. A brilliant product with terrible service is never going to make it long term (I’m looking at you, Telstra!). And if all you have in your favour is a monopoly on infrastructure, then you are in loving trouble!
You already have the skills - now you can map them across to your love life for a brilliant increase in the ROI on your energy, and the returns are super sweet!
Tara works with couples to create the same structures & systems in their relationship as their business, from the mindset of success to implementing the day-to-day strategies and tactics required to create a loving, passionate, joyful relationship.
The Sugar Doctor
Why does the sun affect your mood? 0 Comments
How is your mood, as the sun gets sleepy?
Autumn, now the sun is setting sooner, and the getting up later, what are you doing to maintain healthy, supportive habits?
For many, the hibernation feeling starts to kick in with the change of season, and this can be counter productive for most of us.
The shorter days takes away opportunity to play outside, and as it getting cooler, the chill can certainly hinder our instincts as well. Like all things, we need time to adapt and to stay on target.
Have you noticed the change in produce in the supermarket or the farmer's market? Many of the root vegetables are starting to increase in number as they are the plant's storage compartment of energy and nutrients for the next season's crop.
The change also heralds produce that is becoming higher in Vit C and various immune supporting phyto-nutrients (colour) and minerals, again to help the produce reproduce and sustain the next generation.
Fortunately, we benefit as well from nature's nurture by boosting our immune system and encouraging us to rest more.
In preparation for the coming winter, (which is only 6 weeks away), it invaluable to assess and create supportive strategies now, so when the chill really sits in, you can give yourself a list of positive things to work with.
Know yourself!! What is your typical response to cooler weather?
Do you stay indoors watching movies, cooking up a storm of comfort foods;
go out but still be plan so you stay toasting warm in the heat;
Become adventurous because at least now you don't break out a sweat by moving from one end of the house to the other?
Go wild and get creative to make the most of the camp fires, cuddling moments etc.?
If you know what you are likely to do, out of habit in response to the season's change, then assess if it is supportive of your bigger health and wellness goal. If it is, then keep it or ramp it up, and if not, what could be done differently to achieve your goal?
What foods do you prefer? This is a difficult one, because again, our natural response is hibernation. Yes, we are like bears who prefer to rug up with our loved ones and do little. Unfortunately, by doing this, and even more so when the winter menu is even more laden with Kjs/Cals, rich flavors and carb loaded we tend to put on weight and have mini panic attacks 6 weeks later when spring starts to spring. If this is you, then forward planning is a must
Become familiar with most eaten dishes during the cooler months and consider how energy laden they are
Evaluate if you are moving enough to burn off the foods you eat and if you do by keeping active in exercise, or sport, then go for it. (I would hazard to guess you may not be as active, after all the sun is down before you get home)
Learn the easy substitutes for some of the foods you love. Looking for mashed potato swap to cauliflower mash instead, enjoy the casseroles, shanks and other warm hearty meals by packing them with 'free' vegetables such as carrots, pumpkin, squash, and then at the last minute throw in huge bundles of chopped up leafy greens. This way you get the flavor, all the extra fibre, minerals and phytonutrients without the Kjs/Cals. A full, warm tummy for less weight building!
Consider the serve size. Again, because we tend to sit more in winter, in front of the heater and tv, we also tend to eat more. Practice being mindful while planning, cooking and eating so the brain gets all the support signals to be full.
Who do you hang out with and where? This may sound like an odd questions, but think about it. If the places you go with the people you like to hang out with is a temptation hell, then this might be a good one to reconsider. Peer pressure as we know can be used for good or evil, its your choice. Stand up for what you believe in and what to achieve. Be the light of change for yourself first and others. Character is being true to yourself in the face of others doing the opposite.
Sunlight deprived depression is a real thing. It is linked to the sun - obviously, but also Vit D. So, if you are one who tends to get mopier during winter, then now is the time to plan ahead. Do you want a repeat of the previous year's experiences? If no, what are you going to do differently?
Who are you and what is it you want to experience this winter.
How are you going to do things differently to help you achieve this.
Who, if anyone, do you need to talk with to promote doing things differently.
What could be researched - activities, locations, adventures, tools, resources, to keep you moving and access to foods that give comfort, with out the loaded Kjs/Cals
Looking for ideas?
Consider brainstorming with your friends and see what is going on in your community. Put it in the diary and move towards the things you have said you wanted to achieve.
3 Tips to Reduce Stress: Check Your Notification Settings and be more productive
In today’s digital age, we are all constantly connected. Need something for work? Send an email. Want to tell a friend you’re thinking about them? Text some emojis. See it’s someone’s birthday? Send them a Happy Birthday on Facebook. Someone’s food pic looks delicious? Double tap the screen.
Communication is at the tip of your fingertips…and the corner of your eyeballs.
Think about it…how many times a day do you check your phone? How many times does a notification pop up on your desktop? And how many minutes of work are you really getting done with all the popups and side-eye glance at every ping on your phone.
A study from UC Irvine showed that just 20 minutes of interrupted work significantly increased stress levels, frustration, workload, effort, and pressure.
When was the last time you worked completely uninterrupted for 20 minutes?
So do yourself a favour and minimise your digital distractions with the following tips:
Turn off your desktop notifications.
I had notifications for calendar changes, Facebook, and emails set up on my desktop, and I never even thought twice about taking them off. I just kept annoyingly clearing them off the screen every time they popped up, then getting more and more stressed that I wasn’t getting any good work done.
So here are some instructions to make it easier for you:
Apparently Facebook notifications are sometimes provided by Chrome too, so here are instructions for getting rid of those.
Check your phone notification settings, too.
Do you have any apps where the notifications are turned on but they really don’t need to be.
Groupon, YouTube, Spotify, Pinterest?
What about Snapchat? Facebook?
Gasp…email?? Yes, breathe…then read on.
Set up an automated email message…
Commit to only checking your email at designated times throughout the day (try 9am, 12pm, and 3pm) and set up an automated email message that tells people when you check your emails. Offer them an alternative way, e.g. phone number, to reach you in case of emergency.
And guess what? 9 times out of 10, it’s not an emergency and you won’t get a phone call.
Imagine all the work you can get done knowing that most of the emails you feel so stressed to answer immediately are not even real emergencies!
For one day this week, try turning off your notifications entirely, and pay attention to how your stress levels, productivity and mood improve!
To watch this on video, check out my latest Facebook live video below:
Stress reduction and ways to improve productivity are HUGE topics in my private group coaching program, called "Work Well, Live Well." If you'd like to learn more, please feel free to comment below or private message me!
If your company may be interested in stress management and productivity workshops or private coaching for their employees, please have them visit damonwellness.com.
Jessica May Tang
A great alternative to a smoothie or bread
So I suggest you make yourself a sweet potato toast! This one made my day.
Sweet potatoes are known for their high content of vitamin B6. They are also a good source of vitamin C and D. They contain iron and support the immune system. Sweet potatoes are a good source of magnesium as well and THAT my friends, can help you to relax!
As we all know already, breakfast is not as important as say said years ago, but for me, it is still a very important ritual.
I love to experiment when it comes to breakfast. It is so important for me to start the day right and a good breakfast is a big part of it. Brewing my tea, a glass of fresh juice and a nice breakfast is all I need in the morning.
1 handful pecans
1 handful watercress, leaves (if you can't find watercress, use baby spinach as an alternative, it is a different flavour profile but will definitely work)
1 handful basil leaves
1 clove of garlic, peeled
60 g olive oil
1 sweet potato, peeled and sliced into 0.5 cm (1/4 inch) thick slices
1 avocado, peeled, cored and sliced
1 handful grape tomatoes, halved
2 tbsp. red onion, peeled and sliced
1) Add all ingredients for the pesto into mixing bowl and blend 20 sec/speed 10.
2) Toast sweet potato slices in a toaster on high heat for 2-3 rounds or until nice and tender. Be careful not to burn your sweet potato, since this happened to me the first time I tried it out. Remove slices and top with avocado, tomato, and onions. Sprinkle with 1 teaspoon of watercress pesto and enjoy.
Homemade and Happiness
How to Reduce Worries in 3 Easy Steps 0 Comments
3 simple steps to reducing worries
When I ask my clients and friends what their main health concern is, the most common response is relentless worries and mental chatter.
This inability to relax their mind, be present and feel at peace, impacts not only on their mental health and happiness, but also their ability to maintain a healthy diet, exercise regime, sleep pattern and work life.
So I understand why so many people want to address this once and for all!
In the most part, worrying comes from a place of fear. You worry because – in short – you think you have to. Most worries are stuck in your mind because you’re scared of what will happen if you choose to let it go.
Perhaps you feel you’ll lose control of where you’re going. Or you feel the fear is protecting you from some kind of threat.
When you take time to go deeper and reflect on where those worries came from, you’ll find you CAN actually get by safely and successfully in life without the need to let those worries take charge.
Plus, you know it’s doing your health and your happiness no good, so its time to make a change!
Lucky for you, this change is easier than you might think. Here are 3 steps to reducing worries and bringing peace to your life.
Step 1 – Get out of your head.
Our minds are funny things. They can solve the most complex of mathematical problems… but they can also create them!
Our minds are designed to find problems and solve them, which is useful for detecting dangers or threats and devising a survival plan.
But when your mind is in problem-seeking overdrive because you’re speeding through your busy days in a state of fight or flight from the stress and demands of your life, you end up picking on every ‘potential’ problem you can find. This creates an overwhelm of worries that just won’t budge.
The best way to get out of problem solving mode and lose the worries is to come into a parasympathetic state (relaxation state) by doing some deep belly breathing.
This simple technique is the fastest proven way to relax the mind and body and restore balance. And even better than simply breathing is coupling this technique with reconnecting to your body – i.e., yoga.
During your yoga practice, your body escapes from ‘danger-mode’ and enters the parasympathetic state, switching off the need to find more threats.
Yoga gets you out of your head and into your body, while also training your ‘focus’ muscle so you can become better at focusing on the ideas or thoughts you want to (rather than feeling a slave to the thoughts that don’t serve you). Learn more about yoga here.
Step 2 – Is it in your control?
The most important thing to do whenever you find yourself worrying and getting anxious is to determine whether what you’re worrying about is actually in your control or not.
I notice so many people worrying about things that are out of their control. In fact, they’re often worrying about the actions and decisions of other people, which isn’t even their responsibility or right to control.
Situations will often play out in life whether you worry or not. And usually, it’s the worrying that will attract more bad things because of your reaction or inaction spawned by the worry. So your best bet is to chill out while doing whatever is in your control to do.
Worrying about things not in your control is simply your imagination used poorly. In fact, this sentence became my mantra a couple of years ago when I realised I grew up worrying about everything! And low and behold… I cured my need to worry about useless things. Hurray!
Want to do the same for yourself?
If worrying about everything and anything is driving you nuts, start saying to yourself every morning while you take a few deep breaths, “Worry is the imagination used poorly”.
If you want to elaborate, you can add onto this, “I choose to take action on the things that are IN my control, and free myself from worrying about things that are NOT in my control”.
Step 3 – Support network.
Knowing that someone always has your back is an effective way to reduce your fear-state that causes those worries to hang around and grow.
Connecting with others and creating deep relationships where you trust the other person gives you comfort and strength – acting as a kind of safety net to give you greater confidence and sense of security.
Take time to reflect on the people in your life whom you can trust and rely on. And if you can’t come up with at least 5 right away, then your job is to go away and strengthen relationships with people you feel will lift you up and have your back in tough times.
Then be proactive about spending time with these people on a regular basis. I call these people ‘Uplifters’; those who will support you enough to help you feel you no longer need to worry so much.
This is by far the most fun and loving method of bringing peace to your life! :-)
I recall a girl from one of my workplace programs about 18 months ago who moved to Sydney from a country town with her boyfriend. She had broken up with her boyfriend about 6 months before she did my program.
During the program, she told me she suffered chronic anxiety which affected her work and her mental health.
In her consultation, we began to realise that not having anyone close to her that she could truly count on meant she would hold in all her stresses and worries from her work day (the worries she used to let out when she connected with her partner or family, or simply chose not to worry about because her focus and priority was on other things).
She had to proactively go and create an Uplifter Network and once she did, her anxiety reduced to practically nil!
If you’ve already identified that worrying is holding you back from living life fully and feeling at peace, follow these 3 simple steps and I GUARANTEE you’ll improve your health!
Like anything you want to heal, it is also beneficial addressing the root cause.
That means taking time to reflect on where that worry has come from and why its handing around – i.e, what is this fear and how can we remove it once and for all? If you feel you’re at a stage where you need help doing this, get in touch by emailing me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Free “Worry Less, Do More” Workshop
If your workplace needs help getting in control of their mental chatter, regaining focus and clarity and reducing mental health concerns, you can take advantage of our FREE Lunch-time workshop for you and your colleagues. We’ll dive deeper into the above steps and learn a few more, while giving you an opportunity to ask me questions face to face.
This workshop is only available for the next couple of months and there are only a couple of spots left due its enormous success amongst my corporate clients! So if you want to learn more, email me at email@example.com before 10th March and I will send you more information.
All the best,
Coping with overwhelm 0 Comments
Are you overwhelmed?
It is easy to be organised, focused and productive when life is flowing smoothly but sometimes you find yourself in overwhelm. I firmly believe in simplifying life and creating a work life balance.
At the moment, life has become more complicated. It is not all bad. I am very happily planning for my wedding in 6 weeks. My first book is with Bookbaby and will be available for purchase at about the same time as my wedding.
My elderly father is now in hospital and not doing well. Regular visits to him require going out a few nights a week and time on the weekend. We are also moving house. It will require that I take up a longer commute morning and night to work, but it will be worth it in the long run.
Life does not always go exactly to plan. Here are five steps I find invaluable in helping to get things done and to not feel overwhelmed.
1. Meditate, or take a moment.
When thoughts are muddled, it is time to sit back and breathe. Adding task on task is like a juggler in a show spinning plates. You move faster and faster but eventually it will fall over. Taking a breather, meditating, becoming centred allows you to switch off first and then refocus.
2. Long Term Planner.
Have a planner and a diary with all the long-term dates you need clearly displayed. It is easy to forget things if they are not written down. Putting them onto a planner also gets them out of your head, which allows more room for creating solutions to any problems.
3. A daily to do list.
As a, past master at procrastination, I know how easy it is to put things off to another day. A daily To-Do list means that the most important activities are done and keeps things from getting out of hand.
4. One thing at a Time.
I structure my list to make sure that the most important things are done first and foremost. Trying to multi-task means tasks are not receiving the full and best attention that they could be.
It is more productive to do one task as quickly and efficiently as possible before moving onto the next one. When I have finished an item on the list I then take the time to return calls or answer texts before moving onto the next item on my list.
5. Be flexible.
The best laid plans of men oft go awry. You are not always able to control what is going on around. Take a deep breath, count to ten and re-organise the schedule for the day.
Life tends to ebb and flow between periods of quietness and business. Organise, priorities, take time to breathe and centre yourself and know that soon the pendulum will swing and things will quieten down again.
Love and Light
Being Your Thoughts
Giving the extraordinary effort 0 Comments
Ordinary or extraordinary?
Yesterday at the gym our personal instructor was not impressed by the effort our group was putting in to the warm up session. He gave us a bit of a rouse up and a great bit of inspiration.
Extra-ordinary is putting that bit of extra into the ordinary. We can warm up at the gym at 60% of capability, and do the main bit at 60%, and do our normal day at 60%. The results will be 60% of what we are capable of.
Most people do not put in 100% effort into everything they do. Most people are ordinary, working within the comfort zone of just enough.
On the way home from the gym I was thinking about the idea of being extra-ordinary. A lot of people assume that they will never be extra-ordinary and are quite happy to settle for ordinary. It gets them through life.
I was wondering what some people I know would be like if they put in that bit of extra into their ordinary. It was a scary thought.
Their ordinary life is one of bitching, complaining, worrying, gossiping, blaming and boredom. Putting a bit of extra into that ordinary would be disastrous.
What are the ordinary habits, where a bit of extra would not lead to more drama but to a hugely improved life?
Change is always happening whether you like it or not. When you are afraid to change, life becomes very stressful as you try to control the uncontrollable.
Talk about Ideas.
Ideas expand the mind and opens creativity. Talking about people often leads to tearing them down, being judgmental and helps create a narrow, prejudiced view of life.
Take Responsibility for Failures.
The results you get in life are your responsibility. How you react or respond to circumstances is your choice. Only when you take responsibility can you change things. Blaming others for your circumstances means that you have no ability to change the outcome.
Continuously Learn New Things.
There is always something new to learn, a better way of doing things, a better outcome you can aspire to. Assuming you know everything, you need to know limits your life to what you have today. You cannot do better if you do not know better.
Notice what is good or beautiful or nice about someone. Complimenting people encourages growth. Criticising people does not improve them. Pointing out a person’s faults does not inspire them to greatness.
It takes a lot of energy to hold negative emotions about another person. Forgiving releases, the pain, negativity and heavy emotions and allows a person to move on.
Holding a grudge is like wanting to give another person poison while drinking it yourself. The only person you are damaging is yourself.
Every day there is something that you can be grateful for. The more you practice gratitude the more things you will find to be grateful about. Being ungrateful means that you are always searching for more and feeling like that you never have enough in life even when your life is great.
Is your ordinary something you would be willing to add extra too? Do you consider life painful now? What if it became extra painful?
There are ordinary habits of thought, habits of Being that lead to a more enjoyable life. If you would like to move to a life that is more enjoyable, productive and a blessing to others email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Love and Light
Being Your Thoughts
Do you see the best or the worst in people? 0 Comments
Do you see the best or the worst in people?
I used to complain that I didn't matter to people. Everyone else was more important than I was. It was one of the first things I learnt when I changed my thinking.
I was projecting on to others how I felt about myself. I thought I didn't matter. As I changed how I felt about myself, the world around me changed.
My mirror was not positive. Now I know that I matter, not only in myself, but also to a lot of people around me.
How we perceive ourselves may not be immediately apparent. We do not question our own thoughts, behaviours and way of being in the world.
When we complain a lot about others and how they are wrong, we are projecting that which is in us.
Next time you start to complain about a person or a situation ask yourself, "What is it about myself that is being triggered by that?"
One of my favourite sayings is "People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones."
I am not perfect, when I see something wrong in others than it must be in me. I ask myself how I can improve?
What do I have to change in my own life to be a better person? What are the traits and characteristics that I most admire? How do I make those a regular part of myself?
I want to be able to say, "Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all." To take my awareness of 'perception is projection' and to project positive attributes.
What is the mirror of your life? Are you complaining that people are not reliable? Are you complaining that people are not trustworthy?
Or are you complaining that people don't respect you? Our complaints show us where we can improve our own lives.
Also, remember to flip it, see that those things you find good and praiseworthy mean that they are also in you.
How could your life be a better mirror for you? Send me an email if you would like discuss how to take the next steps email@example.com.
Love and Light
Being Your Thoughts
The Relationship Discovery Meeting
When was the last time you sat down with your partner and discussed their personal goals for their career, finance, education, relationships, personal development, or fitness, without viewing it through the lens of “how does this impact me?”
Let’s get really curious about your partner, in the same way you get curious about a new client.
A couple who doesn’t dream together will always end their relationship, whether it is by breaking up or living together unhappily ever after.
Consider the early days with a new client. You hold a discovery meeting. You discuss what’s currently happening, identify the outcome they desire, and gain clarity on how to move that area forward in their business.
The purpose is to identify their strengths, notice any gaps in their skills and to bring your own expertise to support their success.
As a result, you either find that you have a complementary set of skills, or you connect them with another expert who is a better match for that client.
In order to measure progress you discuss expectations, desired outcomes, and milestones along the way.
It’s a familiar process, and for business owners with a high level of skill, it is the depth of this initial conversation that predicts the scale and speed of your client’s success.
At each milestone, and at the completion of the project or program, we repeat the process to check in that the results were in line with the desired outcome. Rinse. Repeat.
When it comes to love, people often presume that they know each other well enough to predict their partner’s dreams. Familiarity breeds contempt.
Then, they project their own expectations, and end up feeling disappointed or resentful.
The linear lifestyle becomes the default - move in together, get married, have kids, buy a house, get promoted, retire. This ‘set and forget’ approach to dreams is one of the main causes of marital dissatisfaction!
It is a powerful pathway to connection when a couple have clarity about their partner’s personal goals and how to best support those.
Do they want to compete in a triathlon? Start their own business? Write a book? It is so important, you simply must spend time with your partner’s dreams.
This isn’t about negotiating or compromising or sharing the same priorities, it is an act of deep love.
Those dreams may be in a very different space to yours, and that is a good thing! It is the differences in your individual pursuits & interests that brings vitality and longevity to your relationship.
You already have the skills - now you can map them across to your love life to create an even deeper connection. Must go now, I’m off for a run. James dreams of completing a marathon…
The Sugar Doctor
How do I know if He is the One?
In the early days of a relationship it can be tough to get a handle on whether or not you have found The One, and the problem is: You’re doing it all wrong!
In this time of life hacks and entrepreneurial hype we are all looking for the How-To answers that will allow us to use our intellectual abilities to solve problems, and apply them to the practicalities of life. Now, more than ever, we are treating relationships like a problem to be solved, and we are looking for clear guidelines. Which leads me to the eternal question: How do I know if He is the One?
I want to fly in the face of convention and tell you - don’t follow your head, nor your heart. Follow your nose!
Your Nose Always Knows
Research has shown that the smell we are most attracted to is that of someone who has a genetically different immune system to our own. Women have a much better ability to scent an appropriate mate, especially around the time of ovulation. Strangely, the contraceptive pill seems to flip this ability on its head and create an attraction to someone with a similar immunity profile.
Fascinating research from love guru Helen Fisher, in her book Why Him Why Her, illustrates that the foundations of a long term successful relationship lie in our biology, and more specifically, in the chemistry of our brains. Different levels of testosterone, serotonin, testosterone and estrogen in the brain create a specific set of feelings, thoughts and behaviours in an individual that allow us to predict whether a couple will be attracted to each other, and whether they will find a love that lasts.
We can even smell someone online (well, almost!) Interestingly, the words that a potential mate selects to describe themselves are clear indicators of their chemical profile, and in this way we are unconsciously attracted to a profile that indicates a biological match.
A Kiss Never Lies.
Smell & taste are a particularly accurate way to assess someone’s health, an unusually sweet, sour, or offensive body odour can indicate anything from a hangover, to a viral infection, or simply a partner that is not a match for you. You should LOVE the smell of your lover!
What that means is that you must kiss your date. A lot! Kissing allows you to taste and smell your new man so that you can assess his viability as a partner. You’re welcome.
You can smell attraction
The cool thing about this is, on your first three dates you have only one question that truly needs answering: Do I like the way they smell? If you are dating and looking for long term love here is a tip - stay away from spicy foods, garlic or onions, strong perfumes or colognes, use an unscented deodorant. That way your body will have a much better chance of finding the right chemistry & compatibility!
The Sugar Doctor
From Exhausted to Energised - 3 simple steps to get more energy
We are very good at passing off feelings of tiredness and blame a lot of things in our life. It's my job, the long hours, it's all the running around after the kids, maybe I'm not eating the right food.
These all have merit, but, there are many other factors that sap your energy that you don't even realise. It's like our phone when we have a number of pages or apps open, (guilty) flattening our battery. We can do the same to ourselves when we have a number of open thoughts in our head.
To help simplify your life, below are 3 steps to give you more energy in your every day activities.
1) Clean out the Clutter in your Wardrobe
Cleaning out the clutter in our car, house, or computer always makes us feel better when it's done and makes us feel much more in control of the situation. We feel energised. The same can be said if we declutter our wardrobe.
However, it's a bit harder to get in and do this, because our wardrobe's are such a personal space for us. They can hold a lot of memories, some good and most of the time, not that good. Like the clothes you used to fit into and hope to again.
I hope you do too, but while they sit there, emotions of disappointment, failure and frustration rear there ugly heads and sap you of energy, every time you look at them.
Then there's the feeling of guilt, you have spent so much money on these items, you couldn't just throw them away. Yet you never wear them. Another negative feeling depleting your energy levels and adding to the clutter that makes it hard to find something to wear.
Let's turn this situation upside down and imagine a wardrobe you get excited about, a wardrobe that makes getting dressed easy and fun, a wardrobe in which every piece has earned it's right to be there and makes you feel fabulous and confident, generating positive energy and giving you a boost.
A few strategies to help you declutter your wardrobe -
- Have all your coat-hangers facing the one way, when you use an item turn that coat hanger around. After a period of time, say 6 weeks or a couple of months check to see what you are wearing all the time. The 80/20 rule is the same in our wardrobe. What 20% are you wearing 80% of the time?
- Go through your wardrobe and place all the clothes you discarded into big zipper bags. Don't throw them away immediately, give yourself a bit more time to think about it, if you want. After a couple of months though, if you haven't missed these pieces, hand them over to an op shop or toss, depending on their condition.
2) Spend Money on the Look you want
There are 2 energy exhaustive's here, one on the money we waste on clothes we don't wear, (average 80% translates into $000's) and secondly not knowing what you like.
It's the same as going grocery shopping without a list. A bit of a hit and miss affair. Wasting your time, energy and money, especially on the items you brought without a plan to use them and that eventually get tossed in the bin.
So what looks do you like? How do you want to be perceived by others? These are 2 key questions that I ask my clients.
Knowing the answers to these questions, helps you to focus on creating your new style. It takes time though to work this out. Build an inspiration board, ask yourself what you don't like, how you don't want to be perceived or create a Pinterest account. Whatever it takes, it is time well spent. Remember the saying, 'a failure to plan is a plan to fail".
Having an idea of the way you want to look, the more specific here the better, will definitely increase your positive energy levels. It will give you a direction, a focus, a sense of control in this space and eventually fun and creativity will follow.
You will save time and frustration when you are shopping and getting dressed. No more going around in circles while getting dressed as one of my clients explained.
Many of the high achievers nail this, think of Barack Obama, or Julie Bishop. They look great everyday, without giving it too much thought because they have taken the time to plan what they are wearing.
3) Feel Good in How you Present Yourself Everyday.
Many studies show that how we look has a huge effect on our physiological self. We truly underestimate the power of our image has on ourselves and like to down play it. Yet we see our reflection on average 55 times a day. Is this depleting your energy reserves or energising them?
So it's definitely worth making the effort everyday. If you have completed Steps 1 and 2 then Step 3 will be much easier.
What can you do to your overall look today that will make you feel good now? In this extreme Summer we are having, you might want to wear clothing that feels cooler on your body like natural fibres.
How are you going to do your hair, does your hairstyle give you options or are you well overdue for a new style? Would putting on makeup make you feel better even when you are at home? It might be wearing some sexy lingerie under a uniform that will put a spring in your step, no one needs to know except you.
A casual dress in a shop made a client feel like Angelina Jolie (gold), another said " I don't feel big in this outfit".
A gentleman was so chuffed that he could still look professional yet take risks in what he wore for work.
Another lady got a haircut that suits her curly hair, it looks great and is easy to manage everyday.
All these clients were able to look great everyday and their responses show that the right outfit, accessories and hairstyle can provide positive energy to power them through their day.
Again I ask the question what can you change to your overall look that will make you feel good everyday?
Coming from a space that's uncluttered, feeling in control and having a direction, plus feeling good about the way you look everyday will definitely boost your energy levels and have a positive effect on you.
These 3 simple but powerful strategies will help liberate yourself from exhaustion, put a smile on your dial and help you live a life with more energy.
Tracey Cullen is a qualified image consultant. Style for You her business can provide services to individuals and organisations so that they can project their best possible image and make this area of their life much easier and more effective.
If you would like more information about my consultations and style programs please click on the link to her website styleforyou.com.au.
How Amber overcame her cravings 0 Comments
Cravings and how to combat them
One of my clients Amber who I’ve been working with since last August had succumbed to binge eating and sugar cravings most of her life. Her weight was always fluctuating but she desired more than anything to achieve effortless weight loss.
Amber had tried every diet you can imagine, but every time, felt restricted and deprived, with the same result… weight loss and then the inevitable return of her lost kilos.
The problem is – and this is one of the biggest lessons I’ve learnt myself over the years and through my studies – when you overeat, it has very little to do with the food.
Sure, sugar tastes sweet and science has even proven that sugar is addictive. But the CAUSE for wanting that sweetness and succumbing to an addiction like food, is always linked to an emotional problem; a habit of the mind that keeps you in the overeating game.
The other reason it may actually be to do with the food is if you’re malnourished and starved; which could even be the case if you’re living in a western world. If you survive on processed, poor quality, ‘empty’ calories, then your body is very likely missing key nutrients you need for sufficient energy, sleep, brain function, digestion, and other functions of the body. So eat your greens!
But what I want to focus on here is the most common reason for overeating and cravings, and the major reason Amber suffered for so long.
Whenever Amber felt the need to binge, it was due to 1 of 3 reasons – which are the same reasons most people feel the need to binge. Today I'll share with you the 3 steps we worked on to overcome her cravings and binges, so you can use them too.
I’m so happy with Amber’s results! Not only has she lost 5 kilos and kept it off over Christmas, but she feels confident, in control and at peace with her health. And that feeling is what we really all desire!
Step 1: Feel
The most common reason Amber felt like bingeing was to mask an emotion she didn’t want to feel. Amber had a stressful job and was often very tired when she got home from work. She also felt lonely and bored often, living by herself. Because stress, anxiety, loneliness and fatigue are not emotions Amber wanted to feel, food would be used to cover up the sadness and void.
As you can likely empathise, the food made her feel happy for a second – sugar does release dopamine which is a ‘happy hormone’ – but after a couple of minutes, the stress and sadness would return; only this time, it was coupled with guilt about eating too much.
So to mask the pain of guilt, Amber would… you guessed it… eat (or drink!) a little bit more, or absolutely berate herself with negative talk that spiraled into self-abuse and more sadness.
To address the cause – rather than use food as a bandaid fix for her troubles – Amber needed to get into the habit of allowing herself to FEEL.
That meant, whenever she’d want to binge on unhealthy foods, Amber stepped into the routine of feeling WHY she wanted that food in the first place, with the acknowledgment that food was not going to take away that pain.
She needed to respect her body enough to allow it to communicate with her, telling her firsthand what the issue was she was covering up; what the problem was that she needed to address.
The key here was for Amber to invite open communication with her body. Your body is very intelligent and sends you signals and messages all the time with feedback on what’s going on and what it needs from you.
By truly respecting and loving your body, you recognise that listening to your body and allowing yourself to feel what comes up is key to knowing yourself and healing any deep wounds.
In understanding that experiencing a variety of emotions is part of the human experience, Amber learnt to allow herself to feel sad and stressed and even have a cry, to go deeper, and eventually understand why those feelings were there in the first place.
Through this process, I was able to guide Amber step by step on addressing the actual root causes of her emotional eating – mainly stress, fatigue and loneliness.
This new habit allowed Amber to no longer rely on food as a bandaid fix for pain, unlocking those chains once and for all!
Step 2: Dialogue
Step 1 may have raised a question for you that I wondered for a long time myself. Why do we use food as the “drug” to mask feelings we don’t want to feel?
The answer is: we were taught that way. Neuroplasticity 101 tells us that what we think or witness over and over again becomes our beliefs or ‘truths’.
So if you saw your mother drink a glass of wine and eat a bag of chips to heal worries or stress, you were wired to believe that wine and food can actually make you feel better!
Other children may have seen family members or friends use cigarettes or drugs or sex as an addictive tool to mask feelings they didn’t want to feel.
A big part of the problem is that as a society, we’re told to think positively and not allow ourselves to feel sad or stressed.
Which can sometimes do more harm than good. Because that teaches people that feeling feelings labelled as ‘bad’ or ‘negative’ are wrong and need to be avoided. But remember… ALL FEELINGS are HUMAN FEELINGS.
You need to feel all feelings to fully experience life. And you need to feel all feelings to know yourself and allow yourself to move forward. Otherwise, you get stuck in a holding pattern where you never achieve your goals!
Getting back to Amber…. Amber grew up with a dad that drank beer every night to “wind down” and a mum who snacked on chocolate every day to “feel better after a long day”.
She learnt from her surroundings that food would make any pain go away, even if it was just for a little while – even the media (go watch the next chocolate or chips commercial and notice what they teach you about how their product is the ‘key’ to living a happy life!).
Amber linked food and wine to pleasure, which is what, as humans, we’re always seeking. So we worked together to let go of that belief and help Amber connect with the pleasure she was truly wanting… to feel confident, energetic, fit and at peace with her body and herself. This “realignment” allowed her to make future food choices much easier.
So for you at home… I recommend you recognise what you have linked to pleasure that actually isn’t serving you.
And what have you linked to pain that actually isn’t causing you harm? Then take some time to connect with what you truly desire and long for, and connect with that on a daily basis. This acts as your internal compass for making decisions that truly serve you.
Step 3: Nourish & Enjoy
Given we’re pleasure creatures and we’ll want things that are pleasurable rather than depriving, there is nothing wrong with preparing foods and drinks that are deliciously satisfying. In fact, it’s in our best interest!
If you deprive yourself with fad diets that create a terrible hunger inside of you, you’re going to buckle under pressure and crave MORE sweet foods. After all, your body needs good nutrition to stay healthy and energised, so if you starve it, you’ll naturally crave more.
Amber spent many days eating hardly anything in the mornings and during the day when she kept busy at work, thinking this would equate to less calories overall.
The problem was, her body became deficient in the energy and nutrients it needed to stay afloat, which created more fatigue and hunger in her body. So when she went home, of course she binged more.
So I worked with Amber to create an eating plan where she ate appetising, nutritious foods and plenty of water during the day, allowing her to feel more satisfied at night.
The plan also meant she had more energy and mental clarity through the day, improving her focus and productivity (and stabilising her mood!).
So the key is, find nutritious foods that are enjoyable and delicious. And believe me, there are so many delicious healthy meals around! In fact, when you listen attentively to your body, you will feel how much it has been craving that natural, wholesome food.
In turn, your body rewards you with greater energy and health, because it now has the building blocks to do so!
And remember… be realistic! If you’re one of those people that say “but I need that chocolate, or cake, or McDonalds to feel good…” give yourself a big fat reality check.
Your ancestors ate far less than is available to you today and survived brilliantly (without the health problems our society is experiencing today).
You don’t need that food; you want that food. Big difference. So stop kidding yourself.
Food’s role is to nourish your body for survival and optimal health. So stop acting like you’ll die if you don’t have your morning muffin or your afternoon chocolate. (Sorry, but you needed to hear it!)
Amber's End Result
Amber has now minimised her cravings and can’t even remember the last time she binged out of control (which used to be a weekly occurrence)!
She feels in control and confident in her body after losing 5 kilos since we started working together in August last year!
She has more energy and focus during the day because of her better diet, which will no doubt contribute to a healthier body over her life time.
As a bonus, she has worked on the root causes of her emotional eating, which means she now has less stress and worries in her life, living with greater energy and joy. (How’s that for a kick-ass side-effect!!)
What can YOU do?
If you’re reading this because you’ve experienced a poor relationship with food, go through these 3 steps to work through the root cause of your bingeing and craving.
If you want help with your own food relationship challenges, contact me to set up a private consultation where I can help you like I helped Amber. Or visit this page to learn more about private consultations.
Work with me for FREE!
If you have a loved one who could benefit from working through the above issues and you refer them, I’m giving away 5 FREE private consultations upon successful referrals!
So if you want to help a loved one, while also receiving a FREE session for yourself, be one of the 5 first to contact me! Or for more information, click here to learn how to claim your free session!
To effortless health,
Recipe for Health
Staying on track when you commit to change 0 Comments
February is well and truly here, the sun has changed angle and the heat seems to be spiking higher. Change, in all spheres as we seem to be saying "It was never like this before....".
What changes did you commit to making this year?
Are you still on track?
If not that is ok, as every second of every day is a new beginning. It's about being clear of what you want, how you want to live and how much you are willing give up mis-aligned habits and work with the associated discomfort and pain of change to get what you really want.
Personally, I have taken to writing in awareness and lofty questions journal. It is very similar to the Awareness and Accountability Journal developed for my clients, the big difference is I am focusing on the lofty questions.
Lofty questions is a concept introduced to my by Christie Marie Sheldon from Mindvalley.com. Christie is an energy shifter whom I have listed to over the years. She has facilitated in initiating some significant changes in my life simply by opening my imagination to the possibility of 'I would like that too'. Lofty questions are designed to ask the sub-conscious to get creative in finding ways to address the focus point of the question. Potentially opening up some pretty amazing insights and shifts in focus which in turn creates different life experiences.
Some of the lofty questions she posses include:
I encourage you to play with the above questions, and definitely explore her work!!
"How long must you feel sorry for yourself in order to finally reclaim your happiness? Seriously. How much self-pity is required to love yourself again? When would now be the best time to start acting and feeling better? Now."
If you enjoyed this blog, check out my new eBook "What the mind sees, the body feels, creates and attracts" you can get your own copy here.
It is about the mind/body beliefs creates what we believe about ourselves and what how we see ourselves to be. The second part demonstrates that our destiny is to work towards Self actualisation as Maslow and the various Eastern philosophies encourage us to live our life.
By Rose Lauria
Is people pleasing driving you nuts?
Growing up, I felt the pressures from society to become an almighty People Pleaser… always putting others before myself. I was told by my family, teachers, society …. to always “be a good girl” and go out of my way to help others, which in theory, sounds like very admirable qualities.
This came from the best of intentions. In fact, a desire to be kind and help others is an innate quality all humans share.
So why does “people pleasing” create a bad taste in so many people’s mouths, and why does it leave millions of humans with chronic exhaustion and disease?
It comes down to 3 areas…
1. Its fake!
You may not like hearing this if you’ve been sitting on your martyr throne, but people pleasing is not coming from a genuine place of kindness.
It comes from a place of fear; that if you don’t be a ‘good girl’ or ‘good boy’, you’ll be looked down upon or be classed as mean or selfish (beliefs imparted on you when you were much younger).
It’s not coming from an authentic place of love or compassion, but a concern that you’re not fulfilling the role you were told to fulfil, and how this might impact your image and how people will treat you in future (i.e., people pleasing is actually filling your own need to be liked, rather than you sincerely want to help others).
2. Your own health and happiness has suffered.
People pleasing is usually accompanied by a sense of guilt if you put your own oxygen mask on first. If you relax or do something for yourself, you feel lazy, weak or selfish.
I’m here to tell you now, GET OVER THAT! Because of this guilt, so many have lost connection with their own needs that they’ve become so unhealthy and so unmotivated to achieve the things they once set out to do; the things that truly matter to them.
If you lose connection with that, you will never feel genuinely happy. Remember… by taking care of you, you actually increase your capacity to help others [a lesson I learned the hard way when I was hit with chronic fatigue, not only significantly affecting my own health and quality of life, but all those close to me].
3. It creates resentment.
Because you always put others’ needs before your own – and because it comes from a place of fear rather than a real desire to help – you now blame the other person for your sacrifice.
This not only affects your own wellbeing for obvious reasons; it now creates damaged relationships that are injected with anger, resentment and jealousy.
So this ‘good intention’ has now created fake, resentful, unhealthy and unmotivated people that please others because they ‘have to’ not because they actually care.
Does this sound admirable anymore?
"But what about that kindness and compassion that’s innate in all of us… where did that go?" you ask…
A few months ago I wanted to get complete clarity around this issue for my own peace of mind, and to give my clients a guide for how to ensure they are being genuine rather than fulfilling their people pleaser role.
I wanted to provide a framework where people can feel like they are being kind and compassionate, but doing it from a genuine place, while still taking care of their own wellbeing and desires.
Fortunately, this balancing act wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I developed the following litmus test, so that for any upcoming action, it can be used to test whether the desire to help someone is coming from the people pleaser within, or the sincerely kind soul who desires good for all.
PEOPLE PLEASER vs SINCERE KINDNESS LITMUS TEST
Ask yourself… People Pleaser’s Voice Your Sincerely Kind Voice
- Am I doing this out of fear or love? Primarily Fear Primarily Love
- Do I expect something in return? Yes No
- Am I doing this because I think I should and its expected of me, or because I genuinely want to help? Act because I think I ‘should’ Acts because I genuinely want to help.
- Am I worried about how I look in front of others, or is the good of all involved (including myself) front of mind? Mostly concerned with image Not concerned about image. Prepared to be cruel to be kind if necessary.
- Will I feel resentment afterward or am I genuinely happy to help? Will most likely feel resentment and blame. Sincerely happy to help without any resentment.
If you find that most of your answers are in the People Pleaser’s Voice (red), you need to step back and look into why you feel this way, releasing any block or belief that holds you in that role.
This will allow you to start taking action from a sincere place in your heart for all areas of your life – relationships, business, health, etc – freeing you up to be your healthiest, happiest self.
If you need help with overcoming the People Pleaser within, contact me for a private consultation to release resentment, become more authentic and improve your health and happiness in the process. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to learn more.
To shedding limitations and becoming free!
2 Reasons Why Company Perks Don't Work
Ok, so we've all heard of the really "cool" companies who pay for their employees' weddings, or gift them cars, or provide catered lunches, or buy them whatever the heck piece of furniture they want.
But do they really work?
Many companies are investing a lot money into such perks, thinking that it's a cost-effective way to get more work out of their people. But with the intention of just "getting the most work out of people," these perks definitely don't work.
They're usually put into effect with the wrong intentions.
Nobody likes feeling like a farmed cow that's fed regularly and expected to produce, produce, produce.
Some companies cater lunches as an incentive for people to work longer hours, or to appease the ones who already do. This may be taken as an award for working longer hours, so employees may feel that they are expected to stay at work longer, eat through lunch at their desk, and continue working through breaks.
Employees who don't take enough breaks throughout the day are less creative and sooner or later get burned out, resulting in absenteeism costs, higher risks of injury (yes, even in desk jobs), and decreased productivity.
They're usually bandaids.
Fun perks tend to be more like bandaids in that they make people happy in the now, but in the long term, they're really brushing real issues that need to be addressed under the rug.
For example, companies that provide booze, game tables, and Fitbits want work to seem fun but if underlying issues such as communication problems amongst team members or unhealthy work habits that lead to injury are not also addressed, employees will soon get over the "fun" and feel the stress of the underlying issues.
So what can you do to make sure they do work?
When considering which company perks to invest in, ask yourself if you're doing providing these with the employee's best interest in mind, or your own and your business'.
If you want your best talent to stay in your company and to continually grow and develop their skills, you'll need to think about their long-term wellbeing and not just what you think they want now.
Consider sending out a company survey that asks, "What can the company provide you with to support your happiness and growth for the next 10 years or more?".
When collecting answers, be sure to consider what the underlying root issues are instead of just taking answers at face value. This may involve speaking to individual employees more to gather more information.
Yes, this process takes a lot of time and energy and analysis, but the benefits are well worth it. Constantly speaking to and getting involved in the lives and wellbeing of employees are like getting long-term cost-effective solutions handed to you on platter.
Imagine lower healthcare costs, increased productivity, a sense of REAL fun (as opposed to bandaid fun), and a cohesive company filled with individuals who are part of a movement to impact the world.
Since this process takes more time and energy than your company may want to deal with, you can work with other companies that create and provide corporate wellness programs.
Just be sure to ask whether they do this kind of extensive research with direct communication with your employees before they spit out a proposal with a bunch of workshops and fun things that "your company needs."
As always, email me if you're interested in learning how to do this with your own company!
Jessica May Tang
Start your day by making a healthier choice
Last few weeks we had a lot of rain here in California. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to complain.
On the contrary: I have been loving it. Nature needs it so badly here. The air is fresh and clean, the rain washes away all the dust and dirt.
What a good start to a new year. However every time it rains, I feel like eating something hearty and rich ALL THE TIME.
Like fries, pancakes or pasta (a looooot of it!). There is nothing wrong in eating that kind of things. No one ever got fat, eating pancakes once in a while, but no one also lost weight by eating a salad once at a time. It is all about balance.
If you know that something is bad for you, but eat it anyway every single time, then you made a decision. The person you are today is because of all the tiny and big decisions that you made in the past.
So ask yourself, is that WHO I want to be? A healthy lifestyle changes your body, mind, attitude and mood.
This morning for example, I woke up and craved for pancakes. Instead, I prepared a delicious, super healthy and quickly made smoothie bowl.
TO DIE FOR - I gotta say. It is interesting though, after I finished this delicious smoothie, the craving for something rich was gone...
1 tbsp. flax seeds
1 tbsp. chia seeds
1 orange, peeled
1 frozen banana, cut into pieces
125 g frozen blueberries
100 g frozen pomegranate seeds
50 g almond butter
110 g almond milk
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1 tsp. agave nectar
1) Place flax and chia seeds into the mixing bowl and blend 10 sec/speed 10.
2) Add all remaining ingredients and mix 1 min/speed 10.
3) Transfer smoothie into a bowl and garnish with extra blueberries, pomegranate seeds and pistachios. Sprinkle with agave nectar and enjoy your healthy and delicious breakfast!
Tip: I love to buy fresh fruit, clean & cut them into pieces, and freeze them afterwards. You can tell the difference - I promise!
Want more of Kristina's great healthy recipes and tips? Check out her blog on homemadeandhappiness.com
Asking to get things done
I often find when people talk about their relationships that there is a tendency to recall specific moments. Conversations. Gestures. They are snipping a moment in time from the fabric of their relationship and using it to represent the bigger picture.
The responses of today are examined in detail, and the trigger is often seen to be the action immediately preceding the behaviour – “I said this, and then my partner completely overreacted”, “ I can’t believe how she responded to a simple request” , “All I asked him to do was take out the rubbish” – Sounding familiar?
When we find ourselves responding or reacting to something our partner has said or done we are only operating on a very superficial level. The cause and effect in a relationship is woven into the fabric of your lives. Your response today is a reflection of how you were both behaving two, or three, or ten steps earlier, last week or the week before.I believe that I am 100% responsible for the quality of my relationship with my partner. Is that true? It’s hard to say – but choosing responsibility sure beats playing the victim or martyr in my life.
To truly create an extraordinary relationship you must be willing to ask yourself a better quality of question.
When your partner is feeling less connected, ask yourself "What did I miss last week?" and even more than that “Who was I being last week that created this sense of lack for them?” And then bring more of that. When your partner is all loved up, notice what you did well last week, and even more than that, ask yourself “ who was I being last week that created this fulfilment for them?” and then bring more of that!
Because the problem is never the problem. What you think is the root of the issue is only ever a symptom that something needs to change. Love is a long game, and requires continuous reflection and adjustment. It’s not them, it’s you. Always.
Curious to know more? Check out our Unlocking love (lite) program here.
Tara works with couples to create the same structures & systems in their relationship as their business, from the mindset of success to implementing the day-to-day strategies and tactics required to create a loving, passionate, joyful relationship.
The Sugar Doctor
"You’re Welcome” Are The Hardest Words 0 Comments
Asking for and giving help
There is a really important lesson I would love to share, something that has continued to have a profound impact on my relationships. It is that giving is a circle. What I mean is that it is equally as important to receive as it is to give.
Strangely enough I find that I spend equal (if not more) time talking to my clients about receiving, or asking for help as I do about becoming more giving.
There is a really interesting dynamic in relationships where when you ask for help, the other person feels closer to you. The rubbish in our lives about being super heroes and the badge of honour we wear when we do it all alone, creates isolation and loneliness.
Learning to ask for help also means being graceful about the response. I have learned to really appreciate the friends who are clear about their boundaries.
To read the rest of this blog by Tara head on over to her website here.
By John Lechner
I am lucky enough to have known Tara for a few years now, we first met, when Tara and her partner visited my Iceland Collection exhibition in 2014. Tara is a professional dedicated to relationships and for me personally was a huge priority to recruit for our Wellbeing at work blog.
We sat down recently for a chat, usually they are pretty epic and cover travel, relationships, coffee and of course food. Today we will just focus on introducing you to Tara.
Tara is based at Toronto, in the beautiful Lake Macquarie region of Newcastle, NSW. "I’m so lucky to live here! Such a perfect combination of bush, lake, and city convenience."
Growing up was an interesting lifestyle, "I was born in Canberra, and then at the age of 2 we moved to Tokyo where I went to a local preschool for 2 years. We then lived in Beijing for the next 2 ½ years, before finally moving back to Canberra when I was 7. I spent the next 15 years or so in our Nation’s Capital (don’t hold that against me!) before moving to Newcastle in 2004."
Passion and Expertise?
"Research has shown that the single greatest factor that dictates health & happiness, is the quality of your relationships. My passion is in educating people to create connection in their lives. From facilitating better relationships within a sales team, building rapport with clients, or creating passionate & loving intimate relationships, no matter the context it is always the connections that matter."
What drives Tara?
"I want to create a world where no one ever has to feel like they don’t belong. When I look at the people around me, I see all of their inherent potential, and imagine the world we would live in if everyone had the love & support they need to succeed."
What do you do and who do you help?
Tara works with clients to build supporting structures & systems in their relationships, from reconnecting as best friends, to collaborating as creators and communicating as lovers. She brings insight and experience to allow couples to understand how to truly motivate and support each other through education and coaching.
Where is your favourite place to travel to?
"My partner and I love spending time in the Blue Mountains. There is a little campground that only has enough space for a few campers, and is still only ten minutes drive from espresso coffee!
It is such a beautiful & awe inspiring area, there are so many walks, waterfalls, and rugged valleys that you never see the same thing twice."
What is the one place/thing is at the top of your bucket list that you haven’t got to yet?
"The very top of the travel bucket list is to head to Italy and spend a month travelling the countryside."
What is your favourite eating/drinking experience when travelling?
"I spent a few weeks in Mexico in 2010. One of my favourite experiences was having dinner at a restaurant in Vera Cruz. I had been wanting to see a mariachi band for a few days, and all of a sudden there was a mariachi WAR! Two different groups, playing one on each side of the table. It was one of the funniest (and noisiest) meals I have ever had!"
If you had $1000 spare and no rules on how to spend it what would you do?
"We are planning & planting a garden in our new house, it would be entirely spent at the Wyee Nursery! A combination of flowering Australian natives to attract the birds, a kitchen garden so we can support our organic vegetable habit, and some larger trees to bring some structure & shade to the garden."
If people want to know more about you where is the best place for them to find you?
Live your life
As soon as the new year clocks around, the first question you're asked is ‘What are your new year resolutions?' or 'What will you change this year?’.
These questions continue to play on the idea that you’re not OK the way you are; that you need something else in your life to be happy; to be fulfilled; to be successful.
It’s perfectly well and good to go after your desires, to learn, to grow, to change and to reach new limits. That is, of course, what life is about. In fact, part of the definition of living is constant change and development. (Look it up in the dictionary!)
The problem is, very few people give themselves permission to be happy with where they’re at now. This creates a state of “chasing life” rather than actually “living life” or “enjoying” it.
Most are never happy with what they have now; living a constant pattern of needing ‘more’ to feel successful or whole. And because this is an inner state, even when they achieve their new goals, they take maybe 3 seconds to be happy, before focusing on their new goal. And then, only ‘when’ they achieve that new goal, will they allow themselves a short glimpse of pride and satisfaction.
To change this pattern, it's critical you make being happy now – regardless of what you have or where you’re at – a natural part of your life, making it possible to feel truly happy and joyful at any point in the future.
This doesn’t mean you become complacent and stop chasing your desires; quite the contrary. You become happier and more motivated to achieve new heights, without pessimism or jealousy getting in your way. By releasing this resistance, you make space for bigger and better things to come.
My favourite way to start the new year is by taking a happiness or gratitude stocktake of my life.
When you do this quick activity, it allows you to feel happy and joyful right now, rather than only allowing yourself to be happy when something or someone comes into your life.
This exercise doesn’t just make you happier and more motivated, it goes so much deeper… allowing you to become more familiar with what you truly value and therefore what is worth going after or changing in your life.
Allocate some time to do this activity thoughtfully, although it can be as quick as 5-10 mins to start feeling the benefits immediately.
The Happiness Stocktake
Download your Happiness Stocktake worksheet here.
Write down 3 things in each of the following life areas that you’re grateful for and that create happiness in your life now. They can be big or small, new or old.
- Relationships (family, friends, partners, children, colleagues, etc)
- Health & Fitness (including mental, physical, spiritual health)
- Character (your personality, qualities, strengths, etc)
- Work (your career including location, colleagues, salary, contribution, etc)
- Home & Wealth (where you live, what you own including clothes or other material possessions, other wealth or belongings)
- Intellectual Life (learning and development – work or personal / fun, education, books, research, courses, lessons, etc)
- Fun (such as sport, music, tv, social, holidays, adventure, or anything else in your life you have done / do for fun)
Review each of the things you’re grateful for in each area and how these things have created joy and fulfilment in your life.
For those things that bring you a great deal of joy, think about how you can spend more time in those areas to bring you even more joy and fulfilment on a daily or weekly basis.
Step 3 (Optional – setting yourself up for greater joy)
Review the areas above and determine 1 or 2 areas that require your attention this year to create more joy or more of what your heart desires. Then write down 1 activity / step in each of those areas you will take this year to enhance your happiness and fulfilment in that area.
This is a very authentic way of setting goals, because you know when you achieve it, it will bring you more genuine happiness, rather than simply fulfilling an expectation that is not actually yours!
If you want more assistance with reducing anxiety or worries, and increasing your daily happiness and motivation, contact me to learn more about private consultations and how they can help.
To making 2017 your happiest year yet!
Recipe for Health
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